Heartbreak

To The Parents Of The 5 Year-Old Who Was Crushed In The Revolving Restaurant —I'm Sorry

Photo: getty
To The Parents Of The 5 Year-Old Who Was Crushed In The Revolving Restaurant —I'm Sorry

On Friday, while a family was dining in a rotating restaurant called the Sun Dial at the Westin Peachtree Plaza Hotel, their 5-year-old boy was crushed to death when he found himself stuck between a wall and a table as the floor moved.

As the news reached the internet, all armchair parents and wanna-be social workers took to the comments to say how the boy's family was negligent and had practiced poor parenting.

As a mother myself to a 5-year-old boy, I wanted to reach out to Charlie Holt's parents. I have some things to say.

To The Parents of Charlie Holt,

I can't imagine the grief you are going through. 

Every day of my parenting life, I worry that something is going to happen out of my control that takes my little boy from me and it makes me sick.

I can only feel, from a distance, what it feels like to watch you suffer this tremendous loss.

My little guy is 5-years-old as well, and sometimes it's hard because they are still so tiny but gaining their independence is something we are taught to encourage as they age.

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

I've been to restaurants with my child and in a split second, he has gone from sitting quietly right next to me where I feel assurance that I'm able to look away for a second to check out the menu or the scenery, to almost hanging off the top of the booth head butting the other patrons. 

I've been to the deli with my son. His hand in my hand holding tight and as he looks at all the different meats (something we are trying to teach him) I let go a little, and within nanoseconds, my son is behind the counter trying to "help" the butcher.

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

We try to protect our children, yet we let them roam the playground, falling down on concrete as they run against the wind and trip on a leaf.

We try to protect our children, yet we are helicopter parents if we don't allow them to live their own lives without interfering every minute they are awake.

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

I've seen the comments online about how you "should have done this," or "taught this boy that." 

But I can guarantee you that these people either never had a curious, 5-year-old boy, or they are the same people who tell you that you're holding your own baby wrong because they know better.

I can guarantee that these people have never felt such a profound and devastating loss the likes of which you are going through now.

And because I have a kind heart, I hope they never do. But I wanted to let you know:

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

This was a tragic accident. No one can explain why this happened to your family. You don't deserve this. Your little boy didn't deserve this. No one deserves this.

But what I can say is this—don't pay attention to the comments people are typing behind their anonymous computer screens where they feel no repercussions for their words or actions.

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

I don't know you. I didn't know your son. But I am you. My son is yours. As mothers, we are all in this together and when one hurts, we all do.

Please know that my broken heart goes out to you. I know you loved that child. I know you were raising him to be a good boy. And I know you'll never get over this no matter how many cards, flowers, or letters you receive.

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

With sincere sadness and love,

Another mother who knows this was not your fault.