How To Get A Guy To Like You? Stop Following These 7 Ridiculous Rules
No, you don't HAVE to wait for him to text first.
getty By Sujeiry Gonzalez
Rules really suck the life out of a relationship. Having a list of do’s and don'ts for your significant other makes the interaction between the two of you start to feel like one big chore list.
Sure, you have needs and desires that must be met, but that doesn't mean your man needs to march to the strict beat of your drum. So, if you're first starting out in a relationship, avoid doing these things if you want to learn how to get a guy to like you.
1. You think he should always call or text first.
In the earlier stages of a relationship, women tend to wait for men to text first. If you text him “good night,” he has to text you “good morning” first. If not, you won’t even dare initiate a conversation. And the same goes for phone calls. You called and left a message and he hasn't responded, so there is no way you're calling again!
But this is your man. Drop the games: text and call him when your heart desires.
2. You withhold sex as punishment.
Withholding sex is a rule that's been passed down from generation to generation. Your grandma probably told you to keep your legs closed if your man pisses you off.
This is usually how this situation plays out: Your boo comes home late one night, or keeps forgetting to take out the trash (you're so over him not pulling his weight!), and you decide he's not getting near your vagina.
In the end, you might get what you want, but it's due to manipulation and control. Do you really want this as a relationship dynamic?
3. You purposely ignore his calls.
“Hello from the other side!” That's what he’s screaming on your voicemail. He's tried reaching you three times and gets nada from your end!
Some women ignore their partner's calls to “keep them on their toes.” Really. I've heard women say this. Again it’s game playing. Those who choose to play this game are often insecure in their relationship. They ignore calls and make their partner suffer because they fear vulnerability and being dumped.
4. You pit your family against him.
We share a lot with our families, so it's second nature to trash talk your partner to your mama, siblings and cousins. To vent and get them on your side, you fail to share the good in your relationship.
Eventually, your family will resent your partner. In your family's eyes, you've won the argument. In the end, you’ll lose your relationship.
5. You throw things in his face.
When one is angry, everything becomes ammunition. You load up and shoot, throwing every sweet act in his face. You helped him prep for a job interview? Bang. You drove him everywhere when his car broke down? Bang. You introduced him to a business contact? Bang, bang, bang!
Thing is you're supposed to do nice things for your partner because you love him, not to use it as a weapon when angry. This rule is not only detrimental to your relationship, but it also paints you as a vindictive and malicious woman.
6. You act like his mom and set a curfew.
I get it; you don't think an unavailable man should get home at 4 AM. So what do you do? You set a curfew for both you and your man just like your mom did when you were living under her roof. You feel the bottom line of this is ultimately respect.
But why is this actually a no-no? It can make your partner feel confined, and yes, like a child. If you want to establish respect in your relationship and learn how to get a guy to like you, and even love you genuinely, kill this rule and share your real concerns with him.
7. You go tit for tat.
This is very common, so much so that many women don't see anything wrong with doing it just to spite their partner.
If he goes to the Puerto Rican Parade when you demanded he stay home, you grab your purse and go out with your girls later than night — and you won't tell him where you're going. You’ll ignore his calls and texts because he deserves to be ignored! A few days later he does the same to you. Do you see why this is harmful to your relationship?
The tit for tat is a cycle. It literally never ends. Nip this rule in the bud before your relationship sprouts weeds and meets an untimely death.
Sujeiry Gonzalez is a love coach, host of the Love Sujeiry podcast, and author.
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