Why I Stopped Trying To Be Better


I found myself on Facebook one morning and though it has been blatantly obvious for a long time, I couldn’t help to notice the over abundance of posts about how to get better at something.

It looked like this: “How to succeed better, how to meet your goals better, how to have a better relationship, how to lose weight better”

There was so much bettering (my word) on that page, it literally made me feel sick. How much time do we spend wasting on trying to be better? In that moment I decided to take the word better out of my vocabulary.

I don’t want to be better, I don’t want to think better and I don’t want to live better.

By saying that I want to think better or live better I’m rejecting and resisting who I am. I’m saying that what I’m feeling in the moment isn’t good enough and that my circumstances are somehow not what they should be.

Better started taking on a judgment and a mean tone. I started to recall how many times I thought I should be better at my job, better in a relationship, and better in my thinking. How if I could just be a "good girl" a.k.a perfect at everything I would be better person.

Being better meant somehow I wasn’t measuring up.

And what does that equal? Pressure!

I can’t tell you how many countless days, years and minutes I’ve spent beating myself up for not being better in one area or another.  It was a constant anxiety producer and time waster.

So I decided to tell better to f** off!

I don’t need to be better in my thinking. I don’t need to be a better person in my relationship and I certainly don’t need my life to be better than it is right now.

What I do need is to ENJOY everything in front of me.

Enjoy my life not think about how it needed to be better.

Enjoy any emotion that came up even if he felt crappy because it means I’m feeling something.

Enjoy my relationship for the connection, not try to make it better to meet some kind of  vision I had of a perfect relationship.

You can use the word enjoy to replace better in any area of your life.

Hate your job? Enjoy the money that it is paying you and helping you in living your daily life.  Hate your body? Enjoy the fact that your body gets up every day moves you from place to place and keeps you alive.

When you stop trying to better your life and you start enjoying it, your life will change on it’s own with ease and grace.

Now that actually feels much better.

Want more tips on how to let go of your good girl? Here's my free e-book.

Laura Bozarth is the founder of Good Girls Health. It became clear to her after working with countless female clients that women spend way too much time in perfectionism and people pleasing which can self sabotage even the most successful of women. You can find more here: www.goodgirlshealth.com

This article was originally published at www.goodgirlshealth.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.