The Fantasy Versus The Reality … Of First Dates

Love, Sex

It's gonna get ugly.

Okay kids, it's that time again: time to address the hideously awkward truths of dating. First dates in particular are nasty little dens of discomfort and stilted conversations (yeah, your friends will occasionally have an amazing night, but that rarely happens to you).  So, let's jump right in and see where Fantasy-You and Reality-You collide.

1. Fantasy-You meets him in a coffee house/book reading/dinner party. Reality-You gets rear-ended by his shopping cart in the grocery store and he makes a bad joke about needing your insurance info.

2. Fantasy-You is seduced by his clever banter. Reality-You gets three lackluster texts, and decides to give him a shot anyway, because it's seriously been that long.

3. Fantasy-You puts on the cute little bra that jacks your boobs up to your neck. Reality-You ignores how much it hurts.

4. Fantasy-You sees the two of you at a tasteful, intimate little restaurant. Reality-You ends up sitting across from him at a sticky-floored sports bar.

5. Fantasy-You enjoys hours of witty conversation with him. Reality-You tries not to jump out the window after the hundredth awkward silence.

6. Fantasy-You finds a million adorable little things you have in common. Reality-You can't get a word in edgewise, because once he finally starts talking, he won't shut up.

7. Fantasy-You expects him to whips the check of the table before you can even reach for it. Reality-You has to pull out your wallet because he wants to go Dutch.

8. Fantasy-You envisions him sweeping you off you feet and taking you away for a night of torrid lovemaking, while Reality-You goes home, takes your bra off and sighs in relief.