The Big Lie of Self-Hate


Why it's time to give yourself and your heart a break, just like Demi Lovato sings.

Life isn’t fair. Love is our birthright. So why doesn’t it happen for some of us? We believe the lie that we are worthless and only deserve hate.

Most of the time self-hate results from bad treatment over time. Basically, someone programmed a lie in our heads that we’re a piece of garbage. Is they were successful in making us believe the lie, we do it to ourselves. When we reinforce the lie, it becomes part of our identity. Left unchallenged, we believe to our core that we suck.

Love holds the key to our freedom from the darkness of self-hate. Self-love that is.
Surprise – you’ve had the key in your hands all along.

So why won’t you use it?


Releasing the beliefs, as harmful as they are, is part of your identity and means losing a sense of security of the awful familiar.

Just because you got used to the cesspool of self-hate doesn’t mean you are immune to self-love.

Self-love often requires a period of detox. Detox isn’t pleasant. Only at the end do you feel better.

Are there ways to ease the detox? Yes. It’s different for each person. For me, the roots of extracting the beliefs are hardest. So, beliefs have to be challenged daily. Like an addict, the big lie of self-hate is an albatross.

Why? You may be addicted to hating yourself.

The reasons vary by individual. Psychologists have devoted their careers to treating this. Finding the method that is right for you is a personal one.Even if you’re addicted to self-hate, can you summon the strength and will to challenge your inner liar? If the answer is yes, here are some ideas how:

  • Cultivate your strengths and talents every day
  • Get sober if you have an active addiction to a substance or debilitating behavior
  • Deprogram your mind with professional help and lifestyle changes
  • Be healthy with a daily practice like Yoga
  • Hypnosis, NLP, EMDR, and mind-body techniques like BodyTalk
  • Create a healthy social support system of friends and family
  • Heart opening exercises from Kundalini Yoga (there are even free demonstrations of it on YouTube)

Essentially, what you are doing is uninstalling a bad program, then installing a good one. You are also living a life that creates evidence to yourself, the hardest person to convince, that you are loveable. In some ways it’s like how ex-cult members have been psychologically de-programed after leaving the clutches of the compound and cult leader.

Be prepared to make these new habits a lifelong practice. It’s not easy but nothing of lasting value ever is.