Allowing Your Soul to Lead to A Soulmate Love


Jenai Lane, author of Spirit Led Instead, describes how to allow in a true soulmate love

Jenai Lane, founder of Spirit Coach Training, and author of Spirit Led Instead, trains people and coaches to live from their soul instead of ego. How does she do this? By teaching and training them the tools included in her new book that helps connect a person to their innate wisdom. Another term for this kind of wisdom is called intuition or gut sense, which is often, always right and steers us to our best possible outcome if listened to.

“The tools included in Spirit-Led Instead really connect us to our spirit. Alot of times we create relationships without knowing who we really are as spirit, as our true authentic self, and then a year goes by and we wonder why it’s not working out,” said Lane. “Our spirit is where our innate inner wisdom resides. When we connect to others on that level that is when we attract a soulmate. A soulmate is someone who resonates from the foundation of our soul. We can’t do this without going within and recognize that we are spirit. Our soul is our true nature, so we have to go within, or else we don’t attract a loving relationship from that authentic place.”

Lane explains that many people don’t take the time to find out who they really are as spirit.

“What really makes our heart sing? What am I here to contribute?. Once we answer those questions then we can create those relationships that reflect from who we are,” continues Lane. “Often people attract a partner from ego and a façade. So they attract those who don’t really match them. We must be vulnerable to be able to attract the person that truly resonates with who we truly are.”

Lane herself struggled with relationships and used to try to attract a relationship based on a list she wrote of her ideal partner. Until she realized that she had to make a commitment to go within she couldn’t resonate to the world with whom she really was.

“It took a year after making a firm commitment to my spiritual growth and path to live a soul-based versus ego-driven life. Then I met my true love who is now my husband,” recalls Lane. “He wasn’t someone who met any of the things that was on my ego’s list but he matched my spirit and it was very fulfilling. We need instead to go within and let spirit guide us to what we really want”

According to Lane, when we show the world our false self it is because we are trying to look good or be someone we are not. However, when we are willing to show the world our real self that is when we can attract our true love. For Lane’s clients their match to a soulmate only came when they were being their real self. 

“Eventually a partner shows up who is an energetic match to who you really are versus an ego identity,” continues Lane. “Our mind thinks we know what we want. It is a mental list. Many people do this and that is the problem.  On my list I wanted someone who was spiritual and I attracted men who were. What I really wanted was someone willing to be on a spiritual path and grow for the rest of their life. I didn’t really know that until I went within and deeply looked at the important things.”

Another example of a soul desire for Lane was that her initial list stated someone who could make her laugh versus someone who could laugh at themselves.  She didn’t know the subtleties until she understood who she really was.

“When it comes to a love attraction program working or not, it’s about one’s willingness to go within and do that inquiry and spiritual work,” says Lane. “Often self-love happens by looking inside and that’s often what is missing is a lot of other methods. Without self-love we look for love in the external world and are looking to be made whole. True whole love is impossible unless we come from a place of wholeness.”

For Lane, the one thing that makes the most impact in a person’s life is self-love and it’s the same with true love. Cultivating self-love is a natural extension to create true love. Lane explains that the more that you work on it the easier it is to create relationship with another. By leaving out spirit in the process a person is keeping the process intellectual, and it won’t work.

“Many love gurus and coaches teach a form of spirituality as the body being spirit,” says Lane. “The model I use is that you are a spirit having a human experience. From that perspective you are living from the higher version of you. Otherwise you get mixed results by approaching spirit the other way”.

Reading Spirit Led Instead in combination with Lane’s meditation and playsheets included in the book is a soul moving experience for sure. So much so that I decided to speak with her in person to learn more about living a spirit led life and love relationship.  The following Q&A between Lane and I explores more about soul living with a soulmate.

There are a lot of writings out there on twin flames which say that sometimes they are not incarnated, so one has to live without them. What are your thoughts on this?

The concept of a twin flame is a belief system. You have to ask yourself if that resonates as true with you. It is not my personal belief. When we hear anything we just have to weigh them against our own truth.

The problem with that belief system is that if you believe that your twin flame has not incarnated then you are out of luck. The most important thing to remember is that these experiences are here to help us grow. There are so many options from the place of spirit, there is not just one person meant for us. The more you connect with spirit the more opportunities you see are out