Class A vs. Class B: When the #1 becomes an even number


Mistaken sexuality and all its perils as told from the perspective of a very rare steak.

If I had a dime for every...'uneducated girl' complained to a gay man about "why that is" for 13 years, I would have a loaded gun. In the hospital where I work. This afternoon I met a disappointment. I walked into the Fresh boutique to see my super attractive aesthetician who also doubles as my therapist, only to see she had been in tears. This woman has one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen in my life…and though the reason why I remain a heterosexual male has nothing to do with the fact that this woman is familiar with every female situation I have ever been in...but nevertheless, the sound of her stiffened voice on the phone (to inform her I would be late) that morning was a red light-though honestly at the time I had no idea what it could have been, i took it for fear in the moment and then for nonsense after hanging up. And then went about my business.

It had been more than a month since the last time I saw her, so naturally the next time walking into the shop (after cheating on my diet around 5 pounds or so) I was embarrassed anyway….but I do it. Scrubs and all.

It had been so long since the last time I saw her that I didn’t recognize her face at first....this is called "A reason to call the Police." The last time I saw her( and the first time I met her) I had a facial in darker light, so naturally the next time I saw her face in what seemed to be a much brighter light I didn't notice. Although there was a difference between what I saw and what I remembered, I didn’t let that prevent the moment from happening to me "At The Time." This is called 'Thats what I thought.'
I proceeded to walk into the shop and walk towards the counter where she was conveniently standing in the middle of a cluster of other strange women. I heard one of them say hello and moved toward her.

Now, Dr. Robin has excellent credit. With over twenty years of good behavour without so much as a finger to lift a trigger or commit a crime, I regularly talk but never bitch (among common sense)…and that’s okay, its alright...but the real point I’m really trying to say here is that at times you can and will find yourself more so attracted to one woman than another. And yes a Licensed Physician just wrote that for you. Although in theory I believe human beings are not disassociated from animal attraction by nature (under most conditions such as(delusion and or mental illness/regarding marriage and other relationships), I would say it is just too bad for mom's grapeleaves surprise today. Yeah. All I ever wanted was a glass of good lemonade its like the only peach cobbler we have isn't worth the heartbreak it was printed on no matter what time of day on Wednesday it is. I liked it "The Way It Was," when the restaurant served it in front of the asshole. See "The Way Things Are" from Fiona Apple's "When The Pawn" LP as a note to self here.

“But Seriously.” I’m not going to pretend I wouldn’t sleep with her if given 1/110 of a chance...or whatever that looks like in the calculator when you type it in like that. Now, on any given Sunday, there are monumentally stupid people happening to me at all times during the day...and yet today(in the face of a phone call from one of these problems) a stranger was the one having the bad day. This is called "The Luck of the Irish."

I get a lot of emails from people asking what kind of woman I am attracted to...and then the reason 'why' also. Granted I have too many opportunities within the course of any given day to think about nothing that matters to anyone but the trigger finger of a disgruntled "White/Irish Catholic" male, to describe the subject of conversation though physically I would say...unavailable. This one is called "Because the answer is no." Somehow.

She means well and knows my name...now that I think about it I mentioned before to people that she has a great smile...its interesting when I think about where its been and how it became brought to my attention. But beggars can't be choosers...or something. This is called "Choosing the Anonymous Tweet" option. She's an aesthetician (most of them do and or have to)...around 6 inches shorter than I am with really good skin and no the girl does not smell like week old Kraft. She seems to go out of her way to watch me…only today she made a lot of eye contact for some reason. More so than any other time she saw her...so the question then becomes:

Q:Why is it every bar I go to I end up learning a new French curse word at two o' clock in the morning that always seem to rhyme with the word ‘no’?
A:Because I'm Straight.

Being stuck between a house and a gay supremacist who is white also is not so much as utterly disturbing as it is fiction-especially when you’re a straight male with a child with a complexion that is not of his learning curve. Apparently common sense has eluded the fact that not only has this dumbass seen every shade of casual sex that has walked in here on my behalf…and most happening to be smelling terribly "on his behalf" I imagine in order to impress an affiliate enough to round to the nearest opinion. The fact of the matter is in material. I have NEVE-R been affiliated a day in my life...this is called ‘None of thee above." In Garlic.

When there is too much evidence to support mindless complaining for no gain other than the sound of your voice, assume there are dead men who have nothing better to do here. Granted I am free to come and go as I wish, guess what everybody. Drumroll pl(ease)...

The time is now 1:19 pm....better just fake it.

The woman was contacted by a stupid reason complaining of a compound word that I have not annunciated since the invention of the ID. Proof that the only reason some people are live is because I can't effectively hang myself from a trailer. In which case " Strike a Pose."

If I had a dime for every time a mental patient 'influenced' daddy out of his right mind at my expense, I'd have two retainers.There was nothing I could do but stand there and make excuses to keep talking under to the degree of maybe, but be that as it may I figure anything heard and not spoken deserves to be addressed when...your sex life depends on it. One reckons many reasons not to make excuses for having the time to wash a jacket that only seems to smell when you get close to it. But you're just visiting so its fine-moving on.

Of all the things that would upset me I would say someone putting themselves into harms way who perhaps doesn't know any better. Everything has to happen somehow, and thats fine...but at times l would just rather 'accidentally' over the 'why' but apparently "who cares" has apparently reached the delusional properties of ''lucky you" in some feminine circles.

My mother does a great deal of healing work as a Shaman in latin speaking countries. What this has to do with the fact that I dislike the flavor of BBQ potato chips I'd imagine that has something to do with some bitch in a rap video. In which case see profanity. My mother has never been the inspiration of really any part of my head that has caught cold. Granted I was and always have been a good boy, its not going to phase me one way or the other to hear someone call me vindictive because I refused to support her emergency gambling habits. So yes would then translate to somehow not being able to see a bullet being fired by a donkey by a mile away apparently. The time is now 2:43 PM..."Gesundheit"...because I know what that means. Being there, that is.

Warning: Never expose yourself to the art of war in any way shape or form if it is less than necessary...otherwise its just going to look like a lot of second hand smoke, which, would in my opinion then give the appearance of well, not necessary. I'd love to stop and answer that...but theres a time and a place so sometimes you've just got to rely upon your own good sense:even as you are talking to yourself. Suggestions are fine..but do I intend to know any better...not a moment sooner than no, sorry. In which case see the definition of crime....in Catholic:(

There are things I enjoy more than most. The taste of cheesecake and ice cream, a walk in the park in the Autumn when its full of nothing but leaves and wide open space, an afternoon at the shooting range with a good friend, a couple hours missing out to a good mood (club x), and then a night with a few shots and a sleight of tongue with an I'm pregnant maybe to match...and so on.

Men if you've got a woman stuck in a moment against your better wills, then my advice would be not to shoot the messenger and take care as best you can until somebody moves on. Its neither one of us as I have no earthly idea in hell as to how that got there..only that I notice. If i happen to be your Doctor then well...after one of us walks out of the door its basically bat for lashes so watch for the hints, find yourself a reason, and feel no guilt. You've done all you can do at this point so theres no use bleeding yourself to excuses...your sanity, and your wallet for that matter, would do well to with a change of scenery. And all pretty girls love babies yeah. Drink Hydrangea Tea for kidney wash also. Dr. K.

The proud owner of an app, a ticket, and two small pieces of AP class. This is called never is a promise.

The poor girl…maybe if a nice woman somewhere was free to make my life a little easier for me then everybody could take a load off. But sometimes people take advantage for the wrong reasons weather we like it or no. I have a J-phone to trick out…laters.

Robin Kale