Weird News: Iowans Still Can't Raise A Baby In A Garage


A couple in Des Moines was arrested for allegedly keeping a baby in a cold garage.

We all laughed when Reese Witherspoon said, in that judge-y Reese Witherspoon tone in a uniquely Reese Witherspoon film, "You have a baby… in a bar."

Look at us, we're in favor of changing our lifestyles for the care of a defenseless (AND CUTE) little partial person. Well, bringing a baby by a bar is probably better than raising one in a garage.

Per the DesMoinesRegister, a couple in Iowa's most populous and French-named city has been arrested on suspicion of attempting to raise a baby in a garage. The couple, evidently on hard times, didn't leave the child to fend for itself like a modern day Dickensian street urchin. It appears that the whole gang was camped out in the car-house which lacked a lavatory and, you know, heat.

Iowa has somewhat of a tendency to run cold in the fall and the police thought it best not to raise a child in some combination of freezing weather and filth.

The couple, neither 24 years old yet, was also popped for the possession of drug paraphernalia. The reports don't specify but you'd guess it was sterner stuff than No Doze and a homemade gravity bong. While it's super easy to castigate the pair for their dereliction it's apparent they're barely more than children and hardly able to fend for themselves.

Clearly, that little dude (or lady, it's unspecified) needs and deserves a safe place to hang his hat out of squalor, cold concrete and motor oil stains but you'd guess that his youthful caretakers could use a helping hand to either get off the dope or learn to functionally approach substances like the rest of us. I know. Really went out on a limb there.

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