I Still Say A Little Prayer For You: Part 4


Marvin Gaye's song on healing is a testimony to BodyTalk and Tantra to heal the soul of attraction

When your favorite actor is unable to seduce you because an off-screen man stole your heart away ... you know you are in deep deep trouble. So I finally caved and went in for some serious healing in New York.

Taking a cue from the late singer Marvin Gaye I admitted my need for some healing of my own. Then I went out and got the remedies. No, I did not visit one of those shops, rather it was time to get more serious about my Tantra yoga practice and bring a certain issue to a BodyTalk session. In simple terms, I took the specific situation that triggered all this Bonie Tyler-style heartache, to Shelley Poovey's BodyAttune Wellness in New York City.

Previously, I had addressed the emotional cascade of all my feelings in BodyTalk sessions by the themes and belief systems associated with issues that bothered me. Whatever my emotions presented I choose to deal with as symptoms of negative thought clusters. I never directly brought up the incident as its very own malady.

The macro-level approach took me a long way but didn't give me a home run. Clearly, in the end, the actual event was calling for healing. My extended heart pain epoch for four consecutive seasons made that obvious. Shelley took the bull by the horns and tackled the beast of my burden to the ground.

What happened in the session felt like a deep dive into the abyss of my subconcious and delved into the 8th chakra where soul contracts resided. The core themes in my 8th chakra were sexuality, safety, separation of love and sex, and self-punishing self-sabotage in love relationships.

Shelley and I had two sessions. In between the first and second I had the most delightful dream that I moved to London, married Michael Fassbender, and convinced him to play James Bond. Sexual and relationship healing had begun.The symbolism of the dream was very interesting to me. The man I had loved like a fool in real life was the Captain America soulmate a famous psychic had predicted to me more than once in my life. It was the psychic who described Captain America as a kind of American James Bond type.

When I was first introduced to BodyTalk through Heather Strang she had a program called the Romance Matrix. During our BodyTalk sessions on romance , Heather had said that Michael Fassbender was the template for my ideal man. Not so much the actor but what he represented to me with all that I project onto his image. So to dream of my ideal as my soulmate and stepping in 007 shoes for a role was a subconscious message telling me things were improving in my love life. Paradoxically, the actor himself still didn't have any seduction prowess for me. Before my second session with Shelley, Captain America could still light my fire.

Until my 8th chakra and its soul contracts were dealt with there was no full relief. Shelley explained that the 8th chakra factors kept me entangled emotionally even when my conscious mind knew better. She said it was even harder to let go if there have been multiple experiences of the same theme in one's life. That build up attracts more of the same unless the pattern is interrupted. The karmic pattern that was driving this drama in my own mind was a toxic combination of stress, fear, lack of safety in vulnerability, guilt, shame and grief over paternal loss. All these factors were playing out in the realm of romance. Here are Shelley's notes on our session:

AGENDA: "untethering the cord from past love interests so that you can feel free"

8th chakra: Karma affecting central nervous system def: "I feel like myself when I am with you"

8th chakra: Karma affecting libido def: "there's something about you that makes me nervous to be physically raw and open and vulnerable with you"

8th chakra: Karma affecting pelvis def: "it is not safe to be sensual with myself and vulnerable at the same time"

I'm seeing a silver energy cord wrapped around your pelvis, it's still attached via these karmic entanglements. Balancing karmic areas affected removes this cord completely. Any factors creating deception, manipulation, or angst is removed now so that you are less affected from these karmic experiences. What I am seeing is that for you these influences have been affecting all your relationships with men so you will feel more freedom in your relationships with men in general. This agenda is now complete! You may be processing this for up to a week, so make sure to sleep, hydrate, and tap out your cortices if you are feeling stuck.

Hydration thalamus
Hydration general


AGENDA: finding a way to have relationships with men that are stress-free!!!!

Balancing formulas:

Body chemistry:intolerances to uncertainty in communication affecting amygdala

END AGENDA complete


Print out and read the last two weeks of your blog posts in order. See if you notice a change in the tone of your writing since the last session homework.

During the time of Shelley's second BodyTalk session interesting coincidences occurred. My social media had postings related to the karmic issues being cleared. I got an email from my matchmaker Anni Powers about a new man who fit Captain America's profile but was more a Dr. Reid type from Crimminal Minds. By the completion of the second BodyTalk session I had a dinner date set arranged with my match via Anni.

Does being done with all this now mean Captain America has been erased like I prayed he would be? No. It means that the negative thoughts and feelings have been neutralized. For all that has resulted in my life as a direct outcome of dealing with my hurt productively  ... the best blessings are all the new people in my social circle. None of whom would be here without what happened. All of whom I am very grateful for.

What happened to the romantic feelings? They too have been neutralized. I feel more distant from them as if they were a long time ago.

Am I still praying? Yes, of course, but it's different now. Aretha Franklin explains it better than I. Captain America was an experience with a bittersweet ending. I evolved from all the healing. So hence the little prayers. Usually the little prayers come up when I'm watching any of my favorite crime drama shows. They remind me of him and I simply hope he is well. Then Michael comes to mind. No, not Michael Fassbender, but Archangel Michael. St. Michael is the one hearing any little prayers for Captain America now, not St. Anthony anymore.

Where do I stand on love? I'm open to the real thing only now. True love or bust.

How would I respond if Captain America ever came back? It would depend on his intentions and authenticity towards me should that happen. Best case scenario, I'd end up singing me some Carly Simon, over him.