Are you debating on a break-up? Are your wishing your relationship was better than it is? Are you feeling just, generally, unfulfilled?
Don’t worry I’ve been there enough times and, to top it off, regardless of how unfulfilled I was I often felt so bad over the idea of breaking up someone that I stuck it out longer than I should have. There was this idealistic part of me that kept thinking “Maybe if we just work on X, Y, and Z this will all be okay”.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out like that. So here are some sure signs that it may be time to break-up.
Communication is a constant challenge.
There is no relationship out there where both people understand each other 100% of the time. I do believe that communication is something that we have to constantly work on – it’s just a part of being human. However, if the communication is such a barrier that you feel like it’s difficult for both of you to even get on the same page, then it’s time to break-up with him. If you hold it out when communication is that difficult, then it will ultimately only limit your growth rather than help you to grow. You’ll know you’re with the right person when you have conversations where you seem to effortlessly “meet” to a point of mutual understanding.
You feel like you can’t have your own separate view or opinion.
This can be some tricky business. Hence why probably most couples who end up together have the same political or religions views. Yet, even in these situations where you both support the same political candidate, there needs to be some room to have your own separate opinion on matters. If you’re always compliant then there is no separate “him” and “you”, which, in my book, is a big red flag. However, seeing the slightest sign of this doesn’t automatically mean that you need to call him right now to break-up. Instead, recognize and acknowledge your tendency to do this. Do some work on yourself, learn what your own beliefs and thoughts are, and talk about it with your partner. If he is understanding and willing it work on trying to maintain a sense of individuality between the both of you, then he’s a keeper. Though, I must say, we are creatures of habit so changes are much easier said than done. Changing the relationship dynamics can take a lot of time, dedication and effort… which, I feel, can be a good test for how dedicated you both are. However, if through your efforts you just get the vibe that he will never fully accept you as you are then it’s time to break-up and move on.
He frequently bursts out in anger whenever you mention something that you need or simply bursts out in anger for reasons you don’t understand.
There are guys out there that struggle with anger. While I feel anger is a normal emotion and should be nourished rather condemned like every emotion, there is a line between tolerable and intolerable. If you express something that you need or want from him and he bursts out in anger, then it’s time to leave. If you want to have a discussion over a serious issues and he burst out in anger, then it’s time to leave. If he bursts out in anger at you for things that you honestly have no idea over, then leave. Everyone gets angry once in awhile, but if it’s frequent then those are problems that he has to learn to deal with himself – it is not your responsibility. Know and fully believe that you deserve better.
Ultimately, I believe that YOU and ONLY YOU are able to adequately determine when you should break-up with the person you’re seeing. These are just some mere suggestions according to my experience. Relationships are very complex and there is wide variety of potential different scenarios. At the end of the day, trust your instincts. Can you honestly see yourself able to grow and evolve as an individual while being with this person? And there’s your answer.
Have you ever had to break-up with anyone before? What was your reason? If you think you waited too long to break-up with an ex-boyfriend, why do you think you should’ve done it sooner? What kinds of stress did it cause you?
Feel free to share your experiences below!
Jennifer Twardowski is a self and relationship coach and teacher. She is the founder of http://jennifertwardowski.com, where she helps women create fulfilling relationships and rediscover themselves. Click here to become a Marvelous Monday Member to receive weekly updates and a copy of her FREE Self and Relationship Healing Meditation!
This article was originally published at Jennifer Twardowski, Create a Life of Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.