6 Things You Want In Bed (And How To Get Them)

Sex Advice: What You Want In Bed (And How To Get It)

How do you get your message across without having to literally spell it out for him?

By Anna Davies for Self


"My breasts are really sensitive, and when my boyfriend manhandled them, it hurt. So I traced my fingers on his arm to show him the way I love being touched. And once he understood, wow! After that, all I had to do was lightly press my fingers into his back and whisper 'Like this' to remind him to go easy." —Julie, 36

Slow His Roll

"My ex was a jackhammer in bed, but when we were just making out, his hips moved slower. So the next time we were kissing on the couch, I initiated sex and told him to keep moving like that. Afterward, I told him how much I liked his moves, and he got it." —Jenna, 28

Be A Little Demanding

"When I need him to change things up, I tell him what I want in a sexy, dominatrix-y voice. It gets the job done, plus role playing is a turn-on for both of us." —Lauren, 31

Rank Your Faves

"I dated a guy who rarely initiated oral—that's a no-go for me. When we were lying in bed talking about sex, I asked him to rank intercourse, manual and oral, in terms of his pleasure. Then I did the same. Guess what he did first thing the next time we hooked up?" —Kelly, 24

Get Hands-On

"I love having my clit stimulated when I'm on top, but he'll only do it for a bit. So I'll stroke myself and really get into it. Almost immediately, he'll want to take over, and I'll turn up my enthusiasm 100 percent so he knows I enjoy it way more when he does it." —Amary, 25

Just Say This

"Whenever I tell him, 'It would be so hot if you did ____ to me right now,' he does it, without fail." —Amy, 33

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