How I Hired My Matchmaker and Love Mentor


Anni Powers and Tamara Green don't treat love as a job but a passion

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. Such was the case of how my romantic life was going. After relying on online dating for over a year there were plenty of first and second dates but no spark. The rare time a spark happened it didn't lead to anything. Not that I am making online dating wrong but at the time I was digital dating on the free sites. There is something to be said about how serious a person is when they pay up.

To be honest I had given up, was in breakdown, and crying constantly after a disaster of an experience with Kathryn Alice and her Love Will Find You method. Kathryn's method was simply inferior and lacked common sense. The only thing that happened during her time and money wasting program was meeting: (1) a man who was nothing more than a security guard at Abercrombie & Fitch in Fairfied, CA who claimed he was the second coming of Steve McGarrett from Hawaii 5-0; (2) a southern boy from Florida who was good for kissing but nothing else; and (3) a man who fit my checklist of what I had been looking for since age 17. He only asked me out because he wanted to use me as a comparison shop item to confirm that his choice to go steady with someone else was the right one for him. In essence, Kathryn Alice and bachelor number three both broke my heart. Kathryn told me I was lazy and it was all my fault that love didn't find me. Bachelor number three sent me a mean text message right after the date that he had been seeing someone else all along and that he was going to pursue that since it was getting serious. Then he told me to have a nice life.

Heartbroken and deeply hurt from feeling punched in the face and stomach, I went offline, and slowly healed my wounds. Merry Wise coached the confidence and good sense back into me, Gabrielle Bernstein's books began to shift my thoughts to love again, and I decided to get philanthropic by organizing a yoga fundraiser. From October to January I didn't date again until I met Jordan in San Diego. Jordan looked like Drew Brees but his looks got old fast the more he talked. However, in those four months of having an SF-LA-SD romance he got me in the swing of things and was the precursor to my venturing into Tibetan Tantra Yoga with Devi Ward.

By April it was time to do something different. In my preparation to radically change my strategy and align my actions with my commitment I did a bit of an inner workout. My beliefs had to change so I invested in Debi Berndt's "Engaged In A Year" program to reprogram my subconscious ideas about relationships that were not working. Then I embarked on BodyTalk sessions with Heather Strang to entrain empowering beliefs within my psyche. For three months I immersed myself in the inner reset I needed to do to get ready for real healthy mutual love. 

The first thing was to make the investment. First, I switched from and to paid sites like eharmony and Second, I got better photos and set up a professional photo shoot to have quality pictures taken for my online profile. Third, I had a professional online profile writer from ProfileWingman give me a digital makeover. Those three tactics overhauled my online dating experience because more intelligent and professional guys began to get into contact with me.

As for offline, with help from the book "Get the Guy" by Matthew Hussey and his April 2013 workshop in San Francisco, I made a point to meet more people. Increasing my social networks was important because meeting through friends is the second most common way to meet a significant other according to statistics. So I joined Meetup and kept my eye out on other social opportunities to put me in contact with a mixed crowd.

However, the biggest leap I took in June was in hiring Anni Powers, a California-based matchmaker to scout out potential significant others for me. Working with Anni is the most critical part of my external strategy. Never one to neglect the inner work of attracting a soulmate, I also took the deep dive of joining an ongoing love coaching series with Tamara Green. Tamara is a licensed clinical social worker and love mentor trained by Dr. Diana Kirschner. Both ladies are grounded, sensible, professionally skilled, and love is not their job, but rather a soul passion. Most of all, Anni and Tamara are both happily married. It was important for me to work with someone who had the very result I wanted.

A passion mean you do it not just for a paycheck. A passion is an expression of your soul purpose. A passion is kinetic and comes from the heart. It's the difference between a Mercedes-Benz and a Pontiac. The Pontiac takes you from A to B but the Mercedes takes you on a smooth ride that has you enjoy everything between A and B. A Mercedes was built to run. A Pontiac was manufactured to drive. The Mercedes symbolizes quality.

More marriages are happening from online dating as it becomes more acceptable. However, part of the reason we are relying on online too much is that the people have lost the art of connecting. Women aren't sending the right signals to draw a man's approach. We are hesitant to smile and give eye contact for too long out of fear of embarrassment. Men are scared to approach because nowadays everything can be an invitation for a sexual harassment suit. Feminism has confused both genders. That is where people like Anni and Tamara come in. They bridge the gap in real life. Sometimes that is all it takes to go from Fraulein to Frau finally.