Why Do You Want A Relationship?


After a laser coaching session with Sandra Fidelis it comes down to ROI

The question was: how would you life be different if your true love were with you right now? My answer was simple, the energy spent on seeking love (online dating, matchmaker, mixers, shopping, etc) would be freed up to be invested into loving that person and building a life together. Sandra Fidelis asked me alot more questions to help me envision what it would be like with my one and my answers were repetitive.

Quite simply there would be a sense of inner peace because the quest would be done. Relationships are work but certain kinds of lessons and growing can only happen with a significant other. One thing is really clear for me: I'm willing to do whatever it takes to not be in my own way when it comes to love. No more lonely nights!

Everything up until this point, the growing, healing, learning, clearing the past, visioning, etc has been worth it. Between dating more people and creating what Matthew Hussey calls "A High Value Life" and cultivating authentic confidence, I know what I have to offer that special man. Not from a narcissistic standpoint but from knowing who I am and what I have to give. And for the record, it's not giving to get but simply giving as a form of love in action. Love is a verb after all.

All the preparation work to be ready and fully available to another person is about attracting a mirror just as clear as I am. In the past I attracted emotionally unavailable men because I too was unavailable.

While I might have been romantic I still had a wall around my heart. These past few months have been about removing that wall brick by brick just like the Berlin Wall. Once it came down Germany was whole again. And for me, the release of my heart wall, has been an experience of returning to a sense of wholeness that was always available.

As an example of the investment I was willing to make to be ready to receive my true love, here is a breakdown of what love coaching would cost with Sandra Fidelis:

3 Month Fast-Track Package

  • Meeting 2x per month for 60 minutes each session
  • Bundle of 5 Guided Meditations
  • Email support between sessions
  • Facebook Group
  • $650/mo or Full-Pay of $1,900

When it comes to ROI, consider what $1900 invested in a fund that yields an ROI of 13% annually would generate for me over a five year period? But love is priceless and some things are worth investing in to yield you that kind of love. However, as a business mind I choose to forego working with Fidelis, and decided to hire Anni Powers of The Real Matchmaker instead while enrolling in Debi Berndt's Engaged in A Year program to reset my love map so I'd only be attracted to men who knew the kind of prize I was. Berndt helped me switch my love picker from choosing to fall for Pontiacs and instead only notice the Mercedes. My point is, the metaphor of the Pontiac vs. Mercedes refers to how much quality love that man is able and willing to give. Like attracts like. No way am I going to be even drawn to someone now who gives sub-par love compared to the kind of love I am capable of. 

Fidelis did say to me that I was very analytical. I am. However, whenever I have chosen to work for someone or hired a professional to be my coach, therapist, chiropractor, editor, there is no analysis. Every single time it's been an instant gut reaction and I've been right every time. The only time I look back and say it was a bad choice was when I selected someone whom I had to ponder about. When I went to Fidelis website I can't see any credentials of where and whom she trained with. She also said she had been doing this type of coaching for two years and while she was in a relationship, Fidelis is not married.

My gut instinct told me to choose someone who was happily married for some time and in the kind of partnership I wanted for myself so Debi Berndt was the top choice. After having been burned by Kathryn Alice, whom I found slightly Pollyanna like, I know have a better radar. Personally, I wanted someone who could see past my defenseness and was strong enough to call me out no matter what. Besides, it's a bit of a red flag when the potential coach you are speaking with says, "Oh, I like that about energy being freed up to reinvest into a relationship. I'm going to use that." As someone who began their career in public relations, it rubbed me the wrong way, and had me wondering how original Fidelis' ideas were. If you have to borrow your best material from a prospective client then that really has been in trepidation.

Just before I began working with Debi Berndt I spoke with Erykah Lumiere, a California intuitive who did a soul contract breaking ceremony. This was a symbolic excercise in cutting cords and breaking old soul contracts with anyone who was a romantic lover or love interest in the past. Our intention was to clear the decks and have an open clear space to receive a true love. I broke free of the past and ran to my future shortly thereafter thanks to Erykah's soul mate ceremony.