Get It Right and Get the Guy


The real-life Hitch Matthew Hussey and his live events will turn you into a Femme Fatale

Rejection means you are doing things right and eventually will find the right one. Matthew Hussey emphasized that no one is everyone’s type. The only ones who are would be chameleons. The problem with being a chameleon is that you are rarely being your real self to the people you meet. Get the Guy is about facing rejection, being immune to it, and achieving an effective ability to meet more people.

However, Hussy’s method is not just about exponentially increasing the number of new individuals in your life. You have to be smart about every interaction you engage with to optimize your chances. With all this talk about Get the Guy and Matthew Hussey’s new bestselling book about his popular program, many wonder what’s the special formula this real-life Hitch is teaching? The secret is that women always make the first move but have men think it’s them initiating contact.

Hussey explains how this is the tried and true strategy for long-term success. A lot of what one learns in the Get the Guy live event is that many common perceptions about how men and women connect are actually misconceptions. Like many women I had believed since High School that if a guy is really interested he would make the first move. Hussey, who began his coaching career working with men, shares that in reality it’s much more complicated. He explains that when a man really does like a woman he will be nervous and awkward in the first few minutes of a first conversation.

In a way it makes sense. With all the drama around sexual harassment laws most decent men are afraid to come across as slimy. This was one of the many A-HA moments from Hussey. That and an order from him to talk to more cute guys you are actually attracted to. Most women play it safe and strike up conversations with the risk-free comfortable men who don’t appeal to them as a potential significant romantic other.

I'm guilty of playing within my comfort zone and Hussey's program is certainly helping me break out of that protective shell. Last week I bought a soccer jersey for the Irish National team for my friend Declan on his birthday. Two days latter I got a Seattle Seahawks sports shirt for another guy friend named Thor because he too was celebrating a birthday. Declan looks like Ronan Keating and Thor is a doppelganger for Michael Fassbender. As much as I like them as people and agree they are attractive inside and out, I don't fancy them. So it's easy to show my platonic appreciation for Sean and Thor along with my vulnerabilities, insecurities, and very sensitive side that spends an hour or more a night networking German Shepherds on social media in need of rescue. When it's a guy I am smitten with it's like fear comes up so strong I put up a kind of armour that has me appear stoic and cold. They are safe but when it comes to attracting and keeping a long-term romantic relationship you have step beyond your fear to make one message clear to a man: make a move on me/take a chance on me.

Contrary to popular belief Matthew Hussey is a human dynamics expert not a dating guru. That’s the essence behind the success of Get the Guy. Hussey coaches his clients in the art of maximizing every interaction through the many layers that comprise an exchange between two people. It’s a cleaver series of interactions done effectively that triggers attraction. If you follow Hussey’s advice you just may never be “friends zoned” ever again unless you want to be.

Being friends means having enough things in common. Cultivating attraction is about forging deep connection combined with sexual tension. One must be courageous to be the later because it requires being willing to do things most people are afraid of. So why are a lot of single women fearful of going beyond the safe zone of discussing shared hobbies with a man who is utterly hot to them? Fear of rejection. As Hussey pointed out at the start of his live event, rejection is going to happen, learn to be resilient and don’t’ stop until you get your guy.

Being proactive is risky but a calculated risk can reap a huge reward romantically. This is where Hussey’s workshops get very interesting. He breaks down the Attraction Formula in action with live demonstrations on the art of proper body language. Subtle non-verbal cues can change how others perceive you in an instant. A series of subtle shifts in behavioral signals leads to sudden and often dramatic ways in how approachable a man sees you. The right combination of body language directed at a man can make or break whether he sees you as a siren or his sister.

Why is this so important? As much as you fear his rejection he possibly fears yours with equal intensity. So, give your heart and his … a break rather than a heartbreak of a missed opportunity. Master the right “come hither” look that lets him knows it’s safe to approach you.

My personal lesson at the Get the Guy live event in San Francisco was … the next time a guy tells me that people say he looks like Colin Farrell my response will be, “I totally agree. I noticed right away but didn’t want to say anything because I find you hot for you, not who you celebrity twin is.”