Weird News: Breast Implants Are Not A Lifetime Contract

breast implants
Buzz, Heartbreak

A breakup in Poland leaves the ownership of breast implants at stake.

Have you ever gotten someone a really great PS3 game for their birthday and they don't even invite you to play a little Madden with them? Yeah, sheesh, right? Also, has someone ever gotten you a gift and it was really for him? "No, it's OUR PS3, boo boo." Double sheesh. Per Digital Spy, we've got a little of each going on in Poland.

A member of the Po-Po in Po-land really, really digs big breasts (on a lady). If someone who never once met him and heard about Freud via a clumsy reference on Rules Of Engagement had to make a guess, that person would say this police may have a mom issue or two. After splitting with a very bosomy woman, the constable began dating a less top-heavy woman. He missed the old baby fountains and began hectoring his new piece with photographs of the former flame.

On and on the carping, browbeating and, dare I say, bellyaching went. Eventually, the new girlfriend of the Polish copper relented and allowed him to pay for a breast enlargement to the tune of 32DD. For those of you who don't know how brassiere sizes work, that's a pair of oranges strapped to a Number Two pencil. And things were good.

However, an enhanced set of breasts, like most gifts, is immediately the property of the recipient and the now-massively endowed woman took her new knockers and walked right on out that door. The policeman felt more than a little put out by the turn of events but the beneficiary of his largeness largess said that she left because he seemed to care more about the surgically-augmented fun bags than the woman they were grafted to. As if to make the point for her, the forlorn fuzz said, "To be frank about it, I didn't spend all that money so some other man can ogle her boobs instead of me."

What have we learned from this? Other than don't be surprised if the gift of breast implants are received as graciously as you might expect, nothing. These people are damaged. Let's just all thank our lucky stars that she didn't give him a baby in exchange for those saline mamma jammas.   

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