Lose Your List. Don't Typecast Love!


The dreaded list. We all have them. Why we should all lose them but must stay true to our type!

Make a distinction between having a "type" versus a "list" that functions like an Ivy League Admissions checklist. We all have our preferences which are innate but media manipulates us to create these lists that can hinder the opportunity to meet people who are good for you and vice versa. How many times have you met someone who had a list that they threw out the minute their soul mate showed up? That's my point. Focus on type and forget the list.

A type is primarily an inner list of qualities. Based on character, personality, temperament, values, interests, hobbies, and intelligence. A list is mainly an external criteria of physical appearances. The problem is when you get stuck on the outer and find yourself blind to the types who have a different packaging but have the attributes you are best suited for. Your type dictates your dealbreakers. The list is an elimination document that acts like your own personal Berlin Wall to connection.

One key dealbreaker that many people have is the person who is divorced and/or has children. Once you turn 25 or 30 and older the odds of meeting a person who is a single parent increases. Some say that single parents should only date one another because they are in the same boat. It is a logical conclusion but does it help you to think that way? Each person is different. If anything, someone like this can commit to another and understands repsonsibility towards a dependant. What is worse? Having a person enter your life who is unable to commit and has never had the capacity to? Or there are the singles who are never married with no kids because they are developmentally delayed and stuck in an emotional adolescence. Truth is, sometimes such people stay in high school when it comes to their mentality.

The longer the list the more likely the chances for sabotage goes up. A type can be summed up in a synopsis as long as a paragraph. A type is constant. It is a profile that you have been drawn to and described since puberty. A type is a look that you are magnetized to for no rhyme or reason. The media cannot change your type all that much nor can experience. For example, Alex of CaughtyMyFish.com has said he was always attracted especially to exotic women but has had long-term relationships with females that did not fit that type. Why? He was not closed to connection and it served him well because it prepared him for Aggie. Alex has the relationship skills he has that makes his romance with Aggie so deep because he has had a series of serious relationships.

Lesson: Be true to type but don't typecast.