Dealing with a Cheater? Tips for Recovering & Damage Control


Being cheated on is the pits but what's important is to learn how to bounce back stronger than ever.

There is perhaps no bigger type of hurt in a relationship than to find out your partner's been unfaithful. It's no secret that even the strongest of us can be easily broken by such an experience. But there's no better way to get over this type of situation than by doing damage control and taking measures to take your life back.

After the tears have been shed and you no longer feel like hiding away from the world, the next steps will prove to be crucial.

Get Yourself Checked Out

This is the most difficult part of the process because it's 100% reality. It's one thing if your significant other cheated by kissing someone else but if sex was involved, that takes matters to a whole different level. When it comes to your physical health, it does you no good to be in denial or believe there's no way you could potentially catch an STD. There are health testing centers that can get you results in a timely and confidential manner.

Don't have health insurance or don't want your regular doctor to know your situation? There are websites that provide information about the closest testing centers you can visit. Even if your partner claims to have used protection, keep things in perspective: this is a person you trusted who lied to you. It's not too far of a stretch to believe that they were dishonest about other things, too.

Vent in a Healthy Way

Violent reactions, terrible thoughts of what you want to do to your now ex-significant other and/or the "other woman" and other means of destructive behavior seem like the ideal way to let loose on all the emotions but it only serves a short-lived purpose that doesn't contribute to a good outlook for your future. Instead of going the negative route, seek outlets that are a more positive way to release the feelings of hurt and pain.

If that means a day or more of crying into your pillow, give yourself the freedom to do that. Tears are a positive and cleansing process. No matter how badly you're hurting, a good crying session will leave you spent in a way that makes it a bit easier to regroup.

Vent to a friend but pick someone that's good at listening and not administering advice. Friends think that offering up gems of knowledge is being helpful but oftentimes all it takes is an ear to sit quietly and just absorb everything you say.

Cut All Ties

This step does depend on the circumstances but if you know the chance of getting back together is not in the stars, it's best to cut ties altogether to that person. There are too many sayings about leaving the past behind than one can count and they all ring true. Trying to foster a friendship after all has been said and done might seem ideal but in reality, it's difficult to pave a new path when the past is hanging around as a constant reminder.

Get Away...Literally

Ever heard of the saying "born again"? It doesn't just apply to the religious. There's something to be said about stepping away from the familiar and taking on something entirely new. Starting on a clean slate is a lot easier to accomplish by doing something that clearly illustrates a clear transition. While indulging at a day spa for a pampering session and doing a complete makeover from head to toe are ideal solutions, so is planning a vacation and just getting away from it all.

Pick a destination you've never been to and start planning your itinerary. Travel with a trusted girlfriend or, if you're adventurous, go solo. Wherever you choose to visit, allow yourself to get lost in the surroundings and embrace the entire experience from the moment you arrive to the moment you leave. When you get back home, you'll definitely see things through a new set of eyes.