When it comes to your boyfriend and his ex, be sure not to let your own insecurity and jealously make you crazy with worry. If you trust your boyfriend, you should trust him until he gives you reason not to – and texting his ex may have a perfectly acceptable explanation. Did they remain close after they broke up and before you came into his life? Do they share the same group of friends and often hang out in groups? Does he always tell you where they’re going and what they’re doing – and even invite you too? If so, you may need to accept her role in his life and not let it ruin your own relationship with him.
Of course, there are a few situations that warrant your worry. If any of the circumstances below sound familiar, it may be time to have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend about his ex and their texting habits.
1. He is often unreachable or cancels your plans without a good excuse. Honesty and good communication are two markers of a strong relationship. If your partner is being completely open with you about his friendship with his ex, then you have no reason to worry. However, if he starts to hide details about their time together or acts elusive about his activities, it may be time to have a chat.
2. He seems distant and uninterested in your relationship. Regardless of your boyfriend’s ex (or exes), your relationship should be his number one priority. Sure, he once loved her, but that doesn’t give him the license to forget about the special connection that you share. If you’re starting to feel like the third wheel, remind your guy of how great you are together: surprise with him a home-cooked meal and nice bottle of wine, and over dessert, let him know that you feel like you’re drifting apart and want to do whatever it takes to keep that spark alive. Maybe a gentle reminder from you will keep his ex off his mind – and his list of texting buddies– for good.
Related: Is Dating Your Ex Off Limits?
3. Your friends have started to notice his interest in her and have expressed their concern. It’s understandable that you don’t like when a third party butts his or her head into your life and interjects unwanted opinions. Even so, when it does happen, it usually comes from a place of love. If your friends are worried about your relationship, there’s a good chance you’re acting too lenient when it comes to your man’s ex. After all, you want her to stay in his past, not become his present.
Before you get too bothered by your boyfriend’s behavior, it’s important to remember one thing: most guys are going to have ex-girlfriends. While you may not like the fact that they’re friends, it’s ultimately his decision. Plus, he is choosing to date you, so don’t spend too much time worrying about her.