Why My Marriage Would Make A Terrible Sitcom

criminal minds
Buzz, Self

A new study shows buying into TV romance hurts relationships; I'm glad I stick to crime shows.

That's the crux of this whole thing. The boring truth of a day-to-day relationship isn't sexy enough for TV. It's the ins and outs of who did the dishes, what's for dinner and why the baby is chewing on a lamp cord that makes the matrix of a real marriage. That's why the people in the study who base their relationships expectations off of television are left wanting. When TV portrays a relationship, they depict the highs and the lows, which in reality make up only 10% of a relationship. The other 90% is spent fishing your partner's socks out from under the couch.

With crime shows, as with marriage, the story is in the minute details. Those little "How was your day? Did you know that the opossum is eating our trash again?" conversations are as important to a marriage as fingerprinting is to a crime scene. And both exercises are often tedious, but they lead to revelations. Some good. Some disappointing, but it's all for a greater cause—truth, justice and the deepening of your relationship.

This is why I don't bother with most family dramas, rom-coms, or sitcoms (with the small exception of 30 Rock and Parks and Rec, because… hilarious). Instead, you'll find me and my husband on Wednesday nights, watching Criminal Minds, Law and Order (all of them), CSI (the original), and getting excited about the new Sherlock (all of them). 3 Fall TV Shows To Watch As A Couple & 3 To Watch Solo

Marriage isn't some sort of Notebook turned hilariously blighted, happily-ever-after scenario. It's an adventure into process, ritual, and discovery. It's dark and ugly. It's triumphant and humorous. It's gritty and there is usually some blood involved, and it doesn't end when the sexual tension does, oh no, that my friends, is actually just the beginning.

Lyz Lenz is a writer who talks about her sick love of crime and her less-sick love of her husband over on LyzLenz.com.

Photo: CBS.com