I can't shake this feeling


Thinking and feeling like I'm in love with a man who basically doesn't want what I want.

I've been dating this guy, well seeing this guy for 10 months and while I thought we we're heading towards something we were actually heading towards...nothing. I've been in my feelings for a while now, but I don't feel that things are exactly the same. I don't feel obligated to be in a relationship, but I'm a relationship type of chick. I don't know if he doesn't want a relationship with just me or a relationship at all. I'm beginning to go into a phase where I'm sad all the time. I have strong feelings for this man. I love this man but I feel like he doesn't love me back. Its surprising to me that a person can be quick to tell me to just get over it and walk away but I only wish it was that easy. How do you have feelings for someone who doesn't have feelings for you? I feel so bland and blank. I'm not the most willing person when it comes to my emotions and letting people close to me. When I met him I felt like the bond the chemistry the attraction between us was never ending.Now I feel like I would be the perfect friend for him. Like I don't matter anymore. Like I have no special place. Like he doesn't want me as any of the things I thought I would be to him. I feel like I've been lead on down a tunnel and then someone turned the lights off on me. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to be in this place with this man with these feelings anymore. I hate feeling like I'm forcing something that is never going to happen. I hate that I've done so much at risked so much and put so much on the line for someone who is never going to want me. Am I dumb or am I just in too deep?

........Jonathan Perez