Making Friends With Boredom


Is boredom the downside of a stable relationship?

The other day, I had a fascinating conversation with a long- time friend. Jason is a confirmed bachelor in his 50s. Until recently, my question to him was always “who are you dating now”, because there was always someone new. But things have changed. He’s been dating the same woman for two years and he’s in love. It’s serious this time. And he is happy.

So imagine how surprised I was when our conversation about his relationship took a bitof a left turn. We went from how nice it is to be in this great relationship, to him becoming a bit more pensive. He mentioned that all of his married friends envy him. They tell him “don’t get married if you can avoid it.” These guys are all happily married but they feel as if Jason has the best of all worlds: a woman he loves, a good and stable relationship AND he lives alone. He said that his married friends talk about the sameness that comes with being married. The routine is both comforting and stifling.

Even though I know he’s happy in his relationship, I asked Jason if he misses anything about being single-and-unattached. He said, “yeah, I miss the spontaneity”. He went on to say “even though it’s just Thursday, I already know everything I…we are going to do this weekend. They are things that I enjoy and I enjoy doing them with her but there will be no surprises.” Read more: