Once in a Blue Moon: A Guide to Making Your Fu*ket List


What do you want to do in bed before you die? Here are a few tips for making your list.

Panty Parade / Off Go the Panties

If you ever find yourself saying, I only get to have sex once in a blue moon OR I haven’t really enjoyed sex in years OR Sex? What’s that? It may be about time to make a fucket list.

The good ol’ Urban Dictionary has two definitions for a fucket list. One has to do with items on your To Do list that you’re not really getting around to, so you might as well say fuck it. The other one—the one I’m advocating—is a list of things you want to do in bed before you die. In other words, things on your sexual To Do list that you really want to do.

Seeing that anything I don’t write down these days gets completely erased from my brain the minute I walk out of the room, I’m working diligently on my fucket list. I’m sizing up where I want to go sexually, weighing my options, and using my imagination. Of course, there are no official rules when making a fucket list, so I’m pretty much making them up as I go. For me, these guidelines seem to be helping me keep my focus:

1. Think of the list as a cross between fantasy and reality. Sure, it may be fun to put blowing Tim Tebow on my fucket list, but if I really want to engage in an act like that some day, I may just put down that I want to give head to a player in the NFL. Then again, if I really want to start crossing items off of my list, I may opt for banging a former college football player who aspired to be in the NFL . . . or a guy who just watches a lot of football.

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