Looking Past Breakup Excuses


Every breakup is surrounded by lies and excuses, and the best thing you can do is get beyond them.

If you are struggling through a breakup then you likely have a quote or two from your ex that still streams through your mind each day. It might be the excuse they gave for leaving you, or perhaps it is that time they promised you would be together forever. These are the quotes that stick with us, mainly because they often contradict themselves.

For example, maybe your ex ended your relationship by saying, "I just need some time to think."

That can be a legitimate request, except for the fact that last week they said, "You mean everything to me."

Something doesn't add up here. How could one person's emotions change so drastically, and over such a short period of time?

The truth is that almost every breakup excuse is nothing more than a big fat lie. Your ex doesn't want the burden of your broken heart on their shoulders, so he or she found an easier way to let you down. This is why every relationship is susceptible to the "time away" excuse. These words are easy to understand, and they leave just enough room for misinterpretation. In short, they give you hope when it really doesn't exist.

But there is a much larger perspective to ponder here. And that is, what actually caused your breakup? Since you can't dissect their excuse for any reasoning, what should you look for? The truth can often be found in the words your ex was too weak to tell you. Look inside the awkward points in your time together. What would your ex tell their closest friend about you?

She is so boring.

I wish he would...

She'll never let me...

He just hasn't been the same since...

Do any of these statements fit your situation? Is it possible these could be the real reasons behind your breakup? Unfortunately, you can't ask your ex because they won't tell you. But there is plenty of truth to be found if you are honest with yourself.

The lesson here is to not spend your time dwelling on the excuses he or she gave you. If you want to fix your breakup then you'll have to discover the real reason you got dumped. This is not a mission for the self-consumed, or innocent types. The truth can hurt, but it also has the potential to make you stronger.