The Rules Of Playing Matchmaker For Your Friends


One writer plays Cupid to her two good friends, and talks about the boundaries she will not cross.

Rule #1: You will not be spilling secrets. What one person tells you in confidence, should stay in confidence. If there is a divulging of information—fears about the date, fears about the person, past hang-ups or relationships—you are not to tell. Listen, encourage, help where possible, but keep the other person's secrets to yourself. They're very capable adults. They'll find out on their own.

Rule #2: You don't care. Whether this works or not, it's cool with you. Let your friends know that you were happy to set them up, but beyond that, you don't care. What they do from here on out is entirely up to them. Would you love for your friends to hit it off and live happily ever after? Of course! Are you a realist? Yes. Acknowledge that it probably won't happen. Either way, you want to keep both your friends. So make sure they know you're not (too) emotionally invested in the outcome of this match. You just want their happiness.3 Ways To Add Happiness To Your Dating Life

Rule #3: You will not be the go-between. If things go great, you will not be feeling out the situation for one or the other and tipping them off with hints. If things go awry, at any point in a potential relationship, you will not be carrying messages for them. You are happy to sit across from them at dinner, taking bites of your salad and nodding as they talk about how the date went, but you will not be the go-between girl. You will never be taking sides. You are Team Neutral.

Rule #4: You will not be answering questions. It's going to be tempting for the matched twosome. You're sitting there. You're a wealth of knowledge about this person they barely know. They will probably ask questions. Your job is to zip your lips. Beyond the simple things—job, physical description, a few personality traits, very basic likes and dislikes—remind them that the information they seek will be saved for the scavenger hunt that is dating. You are not going to share too much. You have no intention of spoiling the mystery. 10 Questions To Ask Your Guy That'll Bring You CLOSER Than Ever

As for me? I've tried my best to lay the foundation. I'm excited to see how it goes, but I've adopted a realist mentality that this probably won't work. I am not expecting to become the next matchmaker extraordinaire and land my own reality show. This might be a one-time deal. Maybe I'll do it again, maybe not. But for this one occasion at least, I'm glad I indulged my instincts. I am crossing my fingers for my two friends, who totally deserve romantic happiness. 

Maybe they will live happily ever after. You never know, right? I believe in following the vibes and gut instincts you get in life. You never know what'll happen if you have that "feeling" two people will hit it off, if you have that "feeling" about anything worth acting on in life. Do You Follow Your Heart, But Ignore Your Instincts?

But for now, I'm staying blasé. You have to. You have to try and follow the basic rules of matchmaking. You have to let those crazy kids just go for it. Because no matter what happens between Brooke and Cooper, I still plan on having two great friendships with each of them.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, matched-up parties