Heartbreak

5 Ways Being Friends With Your Ex Can Ruin You

Photo: Phoenixns / Shutterstock
woman hugging man

By Ashley DelBello

Let’s be honest: remaining friends with your ex usually doesn’t work. It might sound like a good idea in the beginning, especially if your relationship ended amicably.

However, a few months later, you’re sure to find yourself either pining away for them when they only see you as a friend or participating in late-night hook-ups while one or both of you are dating someone else.

To remind us about these consequences, here are the top five reasons why being friends with your ex isn’t such a great idea.

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Here are 5 ways being friends with your ex can ruin you:

1. You will be single forever

Okay, so maybe that’s a little extreme, but being friends with your ex can keep you from moving on and looking for someone new.

Not only is hanging out with them precious time you’re wasting when you could be finding someone who does want to date you, but it also prevents you from opening yourself up to the idea of being with someone else.

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2. It will damage your new relationship from the start

With your ex still in the picture — even if you claim your feelings are just platonic — how can you be fully committed to your new relationship?

Give the new person a chance and dump the ex. The beginning of a new relationship is always a little hard, so don’t make it any harder by keeping your ex around.

3. You will end up with a jealous partner

This is related to the second point, but it's a little more specific. Think about how your current partner must feel with your ex still hanging around. Jealousy might not be attractive, but it’s definitely warranted if you’re constantly spending time with your ex.

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4. Your ex won’t be able to move on

While this won’t necessarily ruin you (unless they become a stalker), it’s not fair to your ex if you’re giving them false hope that there might be something more.

While it may seem innocent on your end, there needs to be time after a relationship when both of you go your separate ways.

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5. You could hook up with your ex while you’re dating someone else

Whether you’re the one with the new partner or they are, hooking up with each other isn’t going to end well, and it’s easy to consider doing so if you continue hanging out together. Remember this though, you broke up for a reason.

Maybe being friends with your ex won’t always ruin you, but it’s likely to cause additional heartache when you’ve already had your fill.

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Ashley DeBello is a life and business coach who has been featured in Business Talk Radio, My Motivation, Chasing The Sun, and more.