Love is Not Real by Holly Hill


A love that does not recognize our physiology cannot exist.

Love is not real, not the sort the world would have us believe, at any rate. It can be felt. It can be demonstrated. It can also be sung, unrequited, romantic, hopeless, spiritual, free, open, unconditional, crazy, magic, everlasting, true, irrational and even universal, but love has never been defined.
It requires active participation before knowing fully what it is and even then it can drastically change within and between people. It is as fluid as quicksilver and yet can deliver a blow far mightier than pen or sword.
Yet love has never been UNCONDITIONED before. It has never recognized those aspects of ourselves that are regardless of culture and society. It has never been associated with our hardwired selves such as our hormones, inherited fetishes, pathology, gender or sexuality. Yet ask any woman how much she loves her partner when she is pre-menstrual, then ask her again when she is ovulating. So too a man with erectile dysfunction might love less when he is impotent and more when he is satiated. And can we honestly say we feel the same love when we are depressed as we do when we're happy?
These things are just as important – if not more so – than outdated societal constructs. These include the myth that true love means not being attracted to other people, or that it justifies lifetime sexual exclusivity or long periods of abstinence.
A love that does not recognize our physiology cannot exist. Ergo, the only real love, the only truly measurable love, is that state of being which ebbs and flows according to our ever-changing biology. It is chemical attraction plus capacity. It is elusive and yet as surely carried within our bodies as is our blood and thoughts and sense of being.
Love is US. It is not anything outside of ourselves yet it is transferable. The best love isn't tainted by society or expectations - the best love - the purest love - must surely be UNCONDITIONED LOVE.