Why I Called Off My Wedding

bride with cold feet
Love, Heartbreak

Going through a breakup after you've already started wedding planning? Here's what to do.

4. Go to therapy—couples or solo—to talk through your doubts. This can help you with the critical distinction between "cold feet" and serious problems. Don't listen to well-meaning friends and relatives who insist that "everyone" feels this way before a weddingShould You Cancel Your Wedding? How To Tell

5. If you decide to call things off, here's your wedding-cancellation checklist:

• Inform close family and friends; ask them to tell others to save you the endless rehashing.
• Figure out alternative living arrangements if you've been cohabitating, and divide up the possessions as amicably as possible; the good news/bad news here is there will be no lawyers to facilitate the process.
• Give back the ring—it's just the right thing to do, especially if you initiated the breakup.
• Get out your wedding-planning checklist and start working through it to reverse the financial damage as much as possible. Don't forget to cancel all major service providers: florist, caterer, venue, bakery, DJ.
• Some final words on the dress: Depending on where you are in the process of buying and altering your dress, you do have some options as to what to do with it. You could have it dyed black and turned into an evening gown; you can have it made into a commemorative home accessory (think: pillows, tablecloths). A friend of mine had put a deposit down for a seamstress to make her a dress but hadn't gotten any farther; she switched her order to a cute party dress that she often wears for opera recitals now.

6. Enjoy your newfound freedom—you have earned it. Expect some emotional backlash, but rest assured in the knowledge that you've bravely changed your life trajectory for the better.