Is There Anybody Out There


Ah yes, another middle aged woman writing a blog.

Well, this is for me. A chance to say what I want to say. I honestly don’t know if f anyone will ever read this and if they do I warn you now, I am going to be completely open about my love life. Hell, all of my life. I curse, that is one of the things you should know. I am 51 years old, have 2 grown sons, am overweight, unemployed and bitter about it, but more about that later. I live with a 60 year old man child who has the emotional intelligence of a doormat. My best friend in the world is my ex-fiancee. Yes, that is right. This blog is both an attempt to unload myself and to find some humor in my life.

I have a lot of friends who blog and say nothing terribly personal for fear of hurting their romantic partners. They are more like travel logs than something I would read on a regular basis. But what I truly want is a place to say what I am dying to say without him reading about it.

I met, lets call him Brook, performing in a musical 4 years ago. I should have known better. I like to act, have been performing since I was 5. When I met him he was married but separated, still is, tall with blue eyes and that kind of confidence that can be sexy but was actually just masking neediness and desperation for sex, but I digress. He was married for over 25 years to a woman who bore him 3 kids. Their marriage started going downhill when he told her he was in love with her sisters! Who would say that to his wife? That is right, someone with no emotional intelligence.

This is my first time dating someone with kids. His kids are 19, 22 and 24. They are a huge part of why I am writing this blog. So here goes. They inform, they do not ask. His son, the middle child is okay, but the daughters seem to hate me. To be fair I don’t think they would like anyone dating their dad as he financially supports them all even though they are all adults and some women might have a problem with that. They rule him, no doubt about that. He once told me that if his kids ever told him to dump someone he would. So you can see they have an undue influence in his life.

The oldest daughter just informed us that she has quit her full time job as a paralegal and is moving back in with us! Yay. Of course Brook did not even ask me what I thought of this. The other daughter is going to community college part time and still flunking. Her classes this semester are acting , speech and dance. She is a true academic.

Just to give you an idea of what his kids are like, his son once ate my lunch without asking while I was upstairs putting away my coat. No apology. His oldest daughter throws away our things when she visits and once took my car without asking me to go out to breakfast making me late for a meeting. I was 20 feet away upstairs at the time. Also no apology. The youngest daughter complains constantly about how busy she is with her 2 part time jobs. Tells everyone how great she is and dresses like she is trolling for customers. She flunked out of independent study in high school and then decided her parents should pay 50 thousand dollars a year for her to go to acting school. Her father is a teacher at a high school. She is now flunking out of community college. Daddy does not have 50 thousand dollars a year. Get real.

I thought, when we met, that he was a grownup. I liked the fact that he had a career, was older and seemed to have his shit together. I was wrong.