Why Won't Christian Men Date Women Who Go To Their Church?

Love, Self

One writer finds out the surprising reasons, and what those mean for all the single ladies...

The Silver Lining Beneath the Cloud

After talking to all these men, I understood where they were coming from, but it didn't make me feel any better about my dating prospects. I envisioned myself at a church service surrounded by attractive men, and the phrase, "Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink," suddenly came to mind . . .

Yet, as Luke had mentioned, the side benefit of refusing to date women at church is that he gets to go there each week without any distractions. When he's not focusing on who he's going to meet and how he's going to ask her out, he is then free to focus on the whole point of going to church in the first place: to worship and to meet with God. 10 Ways For Single Women To TREAT YO SELF Every Day Of The Year

The same is true for us women. I've had countless moments where my original intentions for going to church get muddled the second I notice an attractive man sitting a few rows up and to my right. I immediately start wondering whether or not he is single, and have an uncanny habit of visually scanning for wedding rings during the middle of a sermon. I become detective extraordinaire, waiting for him to remove his left hand from underneath the Bible he's holding. Is there a ring on there somewhere? Aha! There's not. Hmmmm…..

Meanwhile, I am losing sight, in more ways than one, of what matters most. By searching for wedding rings in the middle of church, I am losing sight. When I analyze men and their preferences for meeting women, I am losing sight, and when I trust in statistics and probability ratios for finding love, I am once again losing sight of my faith in a God who is not only loving, but who created the entire universe and is capable of absolutely anything. 

I recognize that not everyone who is reading this believes in God. But, if you do, then consider this: In James 1:17, it says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." 

It doesn't say some good and perfect gifts, it says "every" good and perfect gift, and I would consider finding love with another person to be exactly that: a gift from above.

When we get overwhelmed by where and how we're going to find this gift, of the probability ratios, or the logic and reasoning behind it, we forget Isaiah 55:8 where it says, "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD."

We never know who is going to be brought into our lives at what time and by what means, but we do know that we always have God, and that "he never leaves us nor forsakes us" (Deuteronomy 31:6). God is with us, even if we feel lonely. And he will provide according to his perfect plan. Plain and simple. Being "Alone" Doesn’t Mean Being "Lonely"

Granted, I will be the first to admit that a week from now, after I've finished this article, I will have likely forgotten my own advice. I do that. Frequently.

Then, as the months or perhaps years pass by and I am still single, I may start focusing again on the probability ratios and the lack of available men, and I will need to be reminded that "with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26). In fact, the more impossible or unlikely the situation seems, the more obvious it will be—when I do meet that person—that it was God who brought him into my life. A Single Girl's Wish List: 7 Must-Haves For Mr. Right

I will be able to give Him all the glory. What can be better than that?