His Good Looks Took Me Bad Places

Love, Self

When you fall for Mr. Right, he should actually BE right. Looks can be oh so deceiving..

Last November after my second break up in five years, I made the grave mistake of attempting to jump right back into the dating market.  Old habits die hard; I have been perpetually in relationships since the age of 16, and I am now 27.  That's a long timeframe of codependency, embarassing to admit, but I've grown from the acknowledgement of my mistake.  Once I was burned and ditched for his high school flame, I allowed myself to spend a weekend in a self pity party so depressing that I was close to pulling a Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 Days of Summer by sulking in a pool of Twinkies & Jack Daniels hoping to find an answer in bad calories and unecessary weight gain.  I went through all of the typical rationalizing every woman suffers post dumpage; Why me?  Why her?  What could I have done better? Why couldn't we have at least slept together one more time? Alright, maybe not the last one (he wasn't that amazing, but you get the idea).  Truth is, like everyone else, I'd rather be the the Dumper than the Dumped.  It gives you more control over the situation even though both positions make you feel less than stellar.


Without skipping a beat, less than two weeks later I was back on the dating site we met and restarting my quest for Love.  A guy living in Seattle caught my eye.  His profile made him look like an undiscovered gem as he was a volunteer firefighter, closely bonded with his family, and cute to boot.  Mistake #1, I reached out to him.  I didn't want to follow the rules back then, I just wanted to grab him while the getting was good!  It took days, but he responded soon enough, pleased that I was curious.  We did the email dance, a couple phone calls, and eventually met out in a very big public restaurant for a first meeting/date.  It was almost too magical; we talked for hours, laying out our lives in full autobiographical detail in laughs and wows, intruiged by one anothers' paths that had led us to that booth sharing a spinach/artichoke dip appetizer and rich foaming brews.  Even the waitress when my 'date' took a trip to the bathroom came over and gave me a shocked, "He's cute!".  Yeah, I know, I'm at the same table (haha).


Like a gentleman he walked me to my car for that awkward 'we just met and now it's time to say goodbye but not sure what's appropriate' moment.  We fumbled for a closer and in the middle of my parting words he leaned down (as he was a six foot something giant over my five foot one frame) and planted a peck on my lips. Lips! Mistake #2, even with my last relationship when we first met, I accepted only a hug since we were just getting to know one another.  What was Seattle Guy thinking?  He didn't try and shove his tongue down my throat, so at least he gave me that respect, and in a way the gesture was kinda sweet and new for me.  Maybe my awesomeness was that overwhelming he just couldn't help himself, who knows!  He made it clear he wanted to see me again and I accepted.  He spent the next so many days drifting in and out of existence via text message and occasional calls.  The vibes were still good, so when he made plans to see me again and take me to the Apple Cup, I was In like Flin for the invite.  I met him at the home he shared with a couple (a guy who was a coworker volunteer firefighter and his gf) on a Saturday morning.  He made me breakfast which was very surprising and pretty damn good, but then suddenly my feelings took a dramatic shift for the worst...


He took me on a tour of the house which was practically empty as they were planning to move down a few blocks into a new abode.  His corner was down on the lower level and once we started down with me in the lead, my body went into a strange panic/blah mode.  I could feel his eyes on me like fired up lasers and every time I could hear him move closer I would uneasily shift around out of close range of his grasp.  I got the sense he wanted to put his hands all over me and did what I could to avoid it by making stupid jokes and hurrying back up the stairway.  He took hold of my hand, pulled me back around to face him and drew me in for an attempted scandalous makeout session.  I don't know how I had prevented the oncoming wave of nausea that would surely be the onset of less than alluring vomit, but I held back my disgust and robotically went with his kissing maneuver, all the while shocked at how this was the first time ever in my life I had been turned off by a seemingly good guy.  I enjoy kissing too, he wasn't even bad at it, but there was something inside of me screaming that none of it was right and this was the absolute wrong man for me to be giving my time and energy to.  Maybe it was a fluke?  Maybe it was nerves?  I shrugged off that one uncomfortable piece of our morning and figured I would allow the rest of the day to unfold to see if I was just being a tad bit dramatic.


Another couple he was longtime friends with flew over from eastern washington to join us in a double date affair.  After parking near the venue and gathering things from the car, the wife of the couple referred to me as my dates girlfriend, Red Flag #3.  Say what?! Girlfriend?! Who agreed to that?  To top it all off, Seattle Guy didn't even correct her misstep, Red Flag #4.  Okay now, as it was only our second official date, labeling me as