The Voice of Reason: 5 Lessons Learnt


There are three voices in my head. Reason. Conscience. & Heart. This is their tale.

Unfortunately for me Heart and Conscience often like to ignore Reason. They drown him out forcing me to take sides with the majority. Usually though Reason has quite valuable information. On which I reflect when after the "massacre that is my dating life" Heart and Conscience feel guilty finally shutting the hell up. These are just a few of the lessons I have learnt.

Macca's and skirting the bill.

I was 'dating' this guy who took me to MacDonald's for dinner. Who also happened to 'disappear' *cough* sorry he needed to use the 'bathroom' when ever we were at the counter (this includes dates to the movies).

Heart: Da-mn! that car is nice.

Conscience: Yeah girlfriend, he's taking you to dinner.

Reason: Guys, the douchebag just skirted on the bill for the third time. And Conscience (since I know you're a closet feminist) it's not just that. He took her to Macca's... Hello?

Heart: Did you hear something Conscience?

Conscience: Not a thing.

Lesson No. 1: He will buy me a cheeseburger.

Reflection: If he can't afford to date me then he simply won't be dating me. So in the future I will: notice the sign that he is a cheapskate. And when he can afford to date. He can come back... maybe. Sorry. But Macca's? Come on mate.


Raining, pouring, soaked.

Different guy. I had just recently broke up with him and he was upset. So I agreed to walk to his place... while it was raining. Which was my own stupid fault. But when I got to his place he was in the room and asked me to strip in front of him (to take off my wet clothes). Mate. What the? I had broken up with him. What did I see in him to begin with?

Heart: The poor thing needs a little encouragement is all.

Conscience: Have a heart.. get it? Heart?

Reason: There is something a little 'off' about this guy. He might just be delusional.

Me: Maybe he needs a friend.....

Lesson No. 2: Friendship is a line... a very, very, very thick line. But even some people over step it. They must be Olympic long jumpers or something.

Reflection: Friendship needs to be earned in occasional instances. In the future avoid becoming friends with exes who haven't gotten over you.


Date... What date?

You know, at least Lesson No. 1 took me on a date. One guy asked me a few times. And when it came to the day he would say, "Is it alright if we just chill at my place?" Which I did on numerous occasions.

Heart: He's so tired... it won't hurt to drive 20mins to go see him for a little while.

Conscience: I bet he would appreciate it hey Heart?

Reason: What? He can't be bothered to sit in a movie with you for 2hours? That's such hard work. You guys I'm moving out if you don't start making sense.

Lesson No. 3: He can get off his arse to see you.

Reflection: If he can't be bothered putting energy to go see you, then why would I put energy to see him? Constantly. I was being used. Just a little.


The dark car park.

I get myself into sticky situations. Often. This is one of them.

Heart: I love this song playing on the radio! Turn it up. Wait where is he taking us?

Conscience: Don't worry, it's just a car park... that is dark and abandoned.

Reason: Oh Brother.

Heart: Okay. So maybe you should have gotten to know him before going out with him.

Conscience: ...

Lesson No. 4: Don't date people who assume ... a LOT.

Reflection: Make clear your intentions. If you are grey about the actions you take you can't expect the guy to pick up on what you really want. Which is respect. Not to be taken to a random car park.


Love can be blind.

I had this amazing friend. Who would text me to listen to music. Have coffee. Go to the movies. Have dinner. I fell quite hard. He stepped quietly aside and I landed in a huddled heap on a concrete floor that had Cactus on it. All the while Heart and Conscience were talking in my ear.

Heart: It's great you have such an amazing friend. You should flirt with him!

Reason: He's not into you.

Conscience: Don't worry about Reason. She's a killjoy. Go for it.

Lesson No. 5: Keep your guard up. And listen to Reason. Sometimes.

Reflection: You are loved. But that doesn't mean that people will love you in the way you want them to.


I hope you have learnt, even a little. If you would like to let me know of your dating misadventure where Heart and Conscience where telling you one thing and Reason told you another Comment! It's great to hear others opinions and stories. It's how people grow.

Side note: I'm pretty sure Heart and Conscience have seen waaaay to many romantic comedies, read too much Chick Lit and are seeing each other. That is the only excuse I can give for not listening to Reason. I'm not void of reason, I don't lack it, I just don't listen. Taking note of this I am currently compiling a list of unacceptable dating behaviour for my own benefit with the help of Reason.

Feel free to add me on twitter @rhiannebutler