Planning The Perfect, Adults-Only Vacation Was Impossible

couple having a disagreement

Planning a vacation without the kids was the opposite of relaxing.

Going on vacation should be easy, right? Especially when you're planning a luxurious, adults-only trip to celebrate your anniversary. Sadly, much like date night, planning a vacation is a chore once you have kids.

David and I wanted to celebrate our anniversary alone this year. That much we agreed on. From there, our intents differed. He wanted to go somewhere warm and exotic, with a beach and fruity drinks. He wouldn't mind playing some golf, either. I just wanted to sleep.

I also desperately wanted this to be a vacation that wouldn't break the bank. Which meant that exotic would be difficult.

I presented lots of options that would keep us stateside and, thus, save us money. Florida, Texas, New Orleans and Las Vegas were all bandied about. David came back to me with his own suggestions: Mexico, Puerto Rico, St. Lucia, Punta Cana.

We went 'round and 'round. Every option was thrown out for one reason or another. We debated this for over a year. Debating anything for over a year leads to some tension. And tension is kind of the opposite intention of a vacation. Why I Take Time Off From My Family

The irony was not lost on us. The irony, in fact, led to some more tension.

There's not a whole lot that's easy about trying to plan a vacation anymore. So much needs to be planned and scheduled that we can't even agree on a plan to get away from the planning. Add to this the fact that this will likely be our last trip before I am pregnant again, and there's a lot of pressure to make this vacation work. It must somehow meet all of our vacation needs at once.

We desperately need time to reconnect before we have another baby. Without focus on our marriage, I'm not sure we can manage another child. So this vacation is our last chance to reconnect. We have to get it right.

In short, this vacation is doomed to failure.

Now, I'm well aware that others take vacations with their kids. They also take vacations while pregnant. Some even take vacations while their children are young. I know this happens. But due to a number of variables, an adults-only trip after the baby is born just isn't in the cards. On A Family Vacay? Here Are 5 Tips To Help You Sneak In Sexy Time

Which brings us back to the fact that this trip must encommpass everything. Which was making us argue. We could not agree on a single place that would be relaxing and fun without breaking the bank. The conversations became tedious and irritating. Conversations about the vacation became something I dreaded. It was tough not to feel trapped by the pressure of figuring this out.

Eventually, we realized we needed to refocus. The vacation should be something we both enjoyed, not something we dreaded mentioning.

We eventually decided to get a hotel near home that would allow us to save money while still enjoying ourselves. We could sleep in and, best of all, we could be with each other, alone.

Our marriage is finally the focus again, rather than an impossibly perfect vacation. It feels so good to let go of the planning. Ultimately, it's the best break we could have given ourselves before getting pregnant again.