How To Have A Healthy Argument

parents fighting in front of son

Arguing is no fun, but there are ways to make it less damaging.

I've been married for over 20 years. So yes. We've had our arguments. Every couple argues. In fact, The Daily Mail reports that, on average, couples argue 312 times a year. 

But I really believe it's how you argue that impacts the viability of your marriage, and also shapes your children's attitudes about relationships.

Look, I'm no saint. Like everyone else, I get annoyed at my spouse sometimes. It's inevitable. But we never really have big fights or blowups. I don't think that we're stupendous people; I just think we've learned some rules that have kept our marriage on an even keel:

Don't say things you don't mean. It can be tempting in the heat of anger to say something hurtful just to feel the satisfaction of wounding the other person, but all this does is erode your trust and respect for each other. It doesn't solve the problem at hand. 9 Things To Say During A Fight

Don't call each other names. I really believe that name-calling can be the root of many marital problems. A really rotten word can stick in your spouse's mind and fester. It's so much better to make your point with an explanation about why you're upset and what you want from your partner.