Can “Friends with Benefits” Ever Work?

Buzz, Self


Pinkee here~ Hi guys.  As with most things in life, the answer is complicated.  First, it’s yes.  Yes, there really are women out there who may want the same thing you do. They have sexual needs just as you do.  And yes, they are able to have sex with you without developing deep feelings and falling in love.  This may all sound great in the beginning.  Wow.  Sex.  And no strings.  No bitching.  No her getting mad at you because you’re going out with the guys.  Every man’s dream, right?

I’m not judging or knocking it, but I have been in a few FWB relationships in my day, and in retrospect, here’s what I think about it:  Those are for people who are scared.  I know, you may have all kinds of excuses why you don’t fall into that category.  It’s that you’re really busy and you just don’t have time for a relationship.  You are establishing yourself right now and you don’t want a serious relationship until you feel really solid.  You just got out of a long term relationship.  You’re not the relationship type.  I know, I know, I used them all too.

I think they’re all bull%^&$.  I’m not saying that those things aren’t true for you.  Some or all of them could be.  AND we all crave intimacy, emotional intimacy.  Not just sex.  If you have somehow shut off your need for that, you must have had some really negative experiences with women in the past.  But here with the Booty Doctors you can learn to put all that behind you. It doesn’t matter about the string of bad relationships you had, or the bad divorce you saw your brother go through.  We are here to teach you that it’s always possible to make changes, to work on the barriers that have caused the problems in the past, and to create the relationship of your dreams.

I’m not saying you have to be in a monogamous relationship.  If that’s not your cup of tea, go find a partner who agrees with you on that point and create your ideal open or polyamorous relationship.  But do dare to go beyond superficial sex with a bed buddy.  Open your heart again.  I’m not going to say you won’t ever get hurt again.  You probably will. That’s life.  But wouldn’t you rather live with the highs and the lows than merely exist?

More Juicy Content From YourTango: