Divorcing an emotional abuser


Husband plays the Emotional Blackmail Card

We were married on Valentine's Day,I though it would be the happiest day of my life. Boy,was I wrong.It was a second marriage for both of us.His first wife cheated on him and they has 3 children together, I had 2. His first wife was a cocaine addict and all the money he paid in support went to her partying.

We had daughters the same age,they did not get along,my daughter was popular and had her own little group of friends,his daughter was in the band,slightly overweight and they tolerated each other. Before this he moved in with me and we had to fight through the courts to get visitation,but she would play games.We finally got visitation but she used the children as a pawn.I was a social worker with connections and eventually got custody of his other two children.The mother was in a lesbian relationship and her lover was at every court hearing. Well the eldest enlisted in the Navy,as soon as she went in.Mom took off leaving the kids with her father a notorious gambler.They were living in squalor. I managed to get him to sign over custody of his teenage son and 10 yr old daughter. Well things just went downhill from there. His youngest daughter missed her mother and her brother was a senior in HS and in love for the first time.The youngest would not leave him alone,and he moved out,to the Mother's lover's house.I begged him not to go.Right after that my husband atempted suicide. I was distraught and going through menopause. The eldest came home for Xmas,with her boyfriend in tow.they used to stay with us but I was the evil stepmother by then.On Xmas eve she showed up at midnight asking if her brother could come over,I told her she was enabling him,all he had to do was call.Big fight,we never even decorated the tree.2 days after Xmas I was in a car accident,while I was in the hospital,the youngest and he walked out on me,no note,no nothing. Since then 3years ago one day we are divorcing the next he wanted to work on our marriage,but his daughter threatens him that if he goes back to me,she becomes hysterical and runs away. I found some real porno about lesbians and her wanting to kill herself on her computer,I told him and he went into  denial,Well a month ago she walked into school and told them she cut herself.He says he wasn't a good father and all of the wonderful life we shared means nothing. He doesn't take my calls,The eldest now lives in Virginia and so does MOM. I had a $45,000 a year job and he ask me to be astay at home MOM.Welll since he walked out,I am on disability and reliant on him for money.He plays games,it got so bad the stress almost killed me,I went down from125 lbs to 83 lbs. I  do not have money for a divorce and feel he should honor our marriage and not allow the now 16 yr old to run our lives.

Help,I can't take it any longer and he refuses to accept responsability.