why i feel like the world is coming to the end in my life.?!

Whats really going on in my life. So its 1:55 and i cant sleep cuzz i keep hearing noices. But who can i call "trey" or ray. I felt as though i hurted them  & they hurted me. "trey" isnt my prefect luver. I want ray but some how i cant leave "trey" alone. & if i call ray would he answer. Would he help me out or just talk bout his birthday present. You know he actually broke up wit me on his brithday. But later on made up like an hr later. I played everything by the book. I really want to call him up. I need confert& im scared. It seem like everytime i close my eyes& ready ta fall asleep. I near something or better yet have a bad dream. I will sleep for like 30 mints & wake up for some odd reason.well its 2 am & todays is holloween is it the fact thas its hollween that im scared?. I dont want my day to be effected because i cant sleep. I have a full day of school.& after school i have weight room for wreslting ugh ta top tha off i have ta go trick o treat. I would actually stay home & catch up on some sleep but i know, i wont make it through the day doing nothing with myself. Im really tired&just want sombody ta confert me. There is body there. I really want to call ray. But i know that man need his full sleep. He got school,work,"football",his kids,& me. Thats alot to deal with. I just never thought the women he luv was me. I am the women he luv, trust, & even let his gaurd down to. When im with his i feel like im on top of the world. If only i had the guts to call him up. How cant i say im in luve wit him if im too afraid to call him up. I should let him know whats on my mind. Dang wats really goin on. && i jus feel really poor because i cant afford nothing on his birthday. Idk i think its really all in my head. I sound like my sister. & now its 212 & im fully awake. Its like my body refuse to fall asleep. This would make my day a living hell. Ohhhh great. i just need some sleep ta get my head together. or better yet somebody to talk to. I cant believe im up thinking and afraid this isnt the real me. I dont act like this. 

Wy is this happening? what did i do ta cause this? am i ever going to go ta sleep? how will my day be tomorrow? am i going to make it through the night? why am i thinking so much? I hope dont find out i have nothing for him on his birthday! ugh i need some sleep? why do my body ich? when is my om going to back in usa? can i really last another night like this? oh goodnes why me? wy me? why me? what did i do? i need to sleep? is anyboby going to help me out>?