Angry Single Blogger: Why I'll Never Have Sex With A Republican

republican elephant
Buzz, Self

Except one! There is only ONE Republican I'd have sex with, and he would be worth it.

Note to the male population: If you don't share my bleeding heart liberal views, we will not be having sex. Just something to think about during this pre-election season, which has already bombarded us with incompetent GOP debates and Rick Perry's overtly bizarre behavior. I'm apparently in the minority on this one, however.

Wet Personal Lubricants has been hard at work conducting a survey about "sexual politics," and their findings are pretty interesting. Unlike myself, 91% of respondents were willing to date someone whose politics differ from theirs; and only 19% felt that political views stood in the way of the sexy times.

Other interesting findings include that Sarah Palin, although she's not running for the presidency (hallelujah), is considered the "sexiest controversial politician," with 48% of the votes. Also on the list are (one of my favorites) Bill Clinton with 23%, Anthony Weiner with 13%, Michele Bachmann with 12% and Eliot Spitzer with 4%. Eliot Spitzer?! Really people? Are you high? And why isn't my lover Mitt Romney on this list? Granted, I'd never vote for him in a million years, but come on, look at him! Why Don't Online Daters Care More About Politics?

Yes, I make exceptions for some Republicans. Come on, he's only fiscally conservative anyway!

This awesome survey went so far as to ask which political term would make the best sexual euphemism. The winner? "Filibuster" at 26%, with "hanging chad" and "privatize" coming in not too far behind, with both at 20%. I'm not sure what I think about when I hear "hanging chad," but I'm pretty sure it could be a good time and/or something with which I might want to play.

Wet even delved into public sex when conducting the survey. As I'm a fan of this activity from time to time (more on that in a later post), I found the results quite interesting and inspiring. Sounds like the top two "politically charged" public sex spots are Mount Rushmore, with 40% of respondents choosing it as their fantasy spot to get it on, and a voting booth, at 32%. (Ed.: Good thing these silly people haven't discovered the Jefferson or Lincoln memorials at night yet...) As for Mount Rushmore, there was no specification as to which presidential face people preferred to hold their rendez-vous on, but personally, I'd go with Thomas Jefferson. I always felt like he had a kinky side to him.

On that note, I'm going to go fantasize about myself and Mitt Romney on Mount Rushmore. No, no I'm not. Okay, maybe a little bit.

Would you date someone who was your political opposite?