Boyfriends are like Babies. Husbands are just hard to find.


In relationship land, do we only matter if we're hitched?

I'm all for difference in opinion, opposite views always make for entertaining debate. As a woman who was once told I will never be a wife by a man so bold (or more appropriately, stupid) due to the fact that I am 'damaged goods' and already 'been had' (via result of having one failed marriage under my shameful belt), I have often wondered if he was, dare I say it, right? According to writer Ian MacKenzie, I fall under the label of a Cheesecake. Cute; until I read over his explaination and felt like shoving some of his own condescending simile down his throat. So unless you're a Wife, to men your value is little to none? Don't men START with girlfriends with one eventually becoming the Wife? He didn't even bother to cultivate the changes that spur a man to decide to make something more meaningful than 'just cheesecake'. Picking up where Ian left off in 2008 when he wrote, "Girlfriends are like Cheesecake. Wives are like Oxygen", while keeping my two cents short and sweet, I'm updating the tort with my own version to present day relationships as I've seen and experienced them, and to speak on the behalf of the rest of my female counterparts who know their worth:

Boyfriends are like Babies.

Women love to nurture. It is in our DNA makeup to dote, console, and cherish with every fiber of our being. We thrive on taking care of others and feel at most ourselves when doing so, just like being a mother to children. So, how are boyfriends like babies? Girlfriends are their number one support and partner in crime from day one. They go the extra mile to express their loyalty and devotion (the good ones do anyway). They love watching their babies sleep, excited to play with them when they're awake, and revel in all of the time they have together. But of course, there always lies a catch....Sometimes, a baby is going to be in a pissy mood and make for a bad day, crying out for attention with the hopes of a sweet bosom in close proximity to lay on. Some babies make a complete chaotic mess out of a home and cohabitate in the warm security of female companionship that is the Girlfriend to enjoy that Motherly lovin' they all agonizingly long for (yes, ALL of them).

There will be days that GF will be dying for a nap or break from her Baby, just as a BF may tire of his cheesecake and want a sandwich. Even so, with women sad over being cast into singledom from time to time, men have just as much, if not a harder time accepting the status. Coupling just makes sense, not only for the argument of continuing on the survival of the species, it just feels better to be a 1+1, and enriches every aspect of our lives to make this crazy world tolerable. Sure, not every girlfriend is a catch, just like not every boyfriend is worth bragging over to anyone who'll listen to your rose colored ramblings, but the transitional period of Girfriend DOES and SHOULD mean more than the occasional dessert option.

Husbands are just hard to find.

Here's the thing, the marriage stats have significantly dissipated over the last decade. Living in sin and families born out of wedlock have been the new normal since, and people vehemently use the "it's only a piece of paper" line to avoid matrimony at all costs. Just as there are a population who deem it an unnecessary evil, there are STILL a great deal of supporters who choose to keep the sacred bonding tradition alive and well. Boyfriends are like babies, because Husbands are a result of wanting to grow up (the good ones do at least anyway). Get the difference? Don't get me wrong, the interval period of BF/GF is a blast! You're sharing yourself with another and discovering all of the crazy compatibilities and clashes along the way, things are seemingly on a constant fresh and new spin. Weekend trips, meeting each others' friends and families, date nights, petty arguments, shacking up, sharing secret hopes and dreams....these are only a few of the trials we bear and venture through until we meet that one special baby we are convinced will continue to grow and flourish beautifully beside us.


Just like a cheesecake who may be content being only an intermittent rich indulgence, some babies pucker down on their thumbs and prefer to remain diapered forever. Not all of us desire to see beyond our own wants, not all of us desire to share our Life with another and are happiest hanging out at the bar over a table for two. To each his own, every path to bliss is paved with it's own unique individuality. As for myself, I have said it before and I will say it again, "Babies are wonderful, but I sure as Hell don't want to have more than I need to."