Tiger Woods' Soul Is 'Complex And Unsettling'

Tiger Woods' Soul Is 'Complex And Unsettling'

The disgraced athlete blames golf for his infidelity.

We're approaching the one year anniversary of Tiger Woods' infamous Thanksgiving car crash that led to the collapse of the golf star's marriage to Elin Nordegren and arguably, his career. So what better way to commemorate the event than with an essay written by Mr. Woods himself? Yes, Tiger Woods continues his rehabilitation PR campaign by writing an essay for Newsweek about how golf was partly at fault for his serial cheating. Ahhh, that explains it, right? 

But in fairness, Tiger does begin his sob story by admitting he made some serious mistakes. Here's what he had to say, according to excerpts obtained by The Washington Post:

"I had been conducting my personal life in an artificial way—as if detached from the values my upbringing had taught, and that I should have embraced."

But then Tiger gets really soulful with his words. And yes, we just used the words "soulful" and "Tiger" in the same sentence. You see, now that Tiger is alone, his divorce a done deal and his career faltering, he's found time for some much-needed soul searching. Tiger Woods Admits He "Let Family Down"

"The physical pain from that car accident has long healed. But the pain in my soul is more complex and unsettling; it has been far more difficult to ease—and to understand." 

But apparently, the disgraced golfer hasn't learned anything  since his original post sex rehab statement (when he still thought he had a shot at reviving his marriage and holding on to his celebrity endorsements), 'cause the rest of the essay starts to read exactly like the same old stuff we've heard before that Elin didn't end up buying and quite frankly, we're just sick of hearing.

"But this much is obvious now: my life was out of balance, and my priorities were out of order. I made terrible choices and repeated mistakes. I hurt the people whom I loved the most. And even beyond accepting the consequences and responsibility, there is the ongoing struggle to learn from my failings." Tiger Woods Reconciles Behavior, Marriage On ESPN

And then for the kicker, the newbie single dad pulls out the kid card, admitting he now realizes the importance of pretty much all he has left now—his two children.

"My healing process is far from complete, but I am beginning to appreciate things I had overlooked before. I'm learning that some victories can mean smiles, not trophies, and that life's most ordinary events can bring joy. Giving my son, Charlie, a bath, for example, beats chipping another bucket of balls. Making mac and cheese for him and his sister, Sam, is better than dining in any restaurant. Sharing a laugh watching cartoons or reading a book beats channel-surfing alone. Some nights now, it's just me and the kids, an experience that's both trying and rewarding. Probably like the experience a lot of families have every evening around the world."

Wow, Tiger how real and humble of you … except, it took losing everything else to realize the value of family time. Oh, and you get to do all this parenting in a ten million dollar pad with a chef whipping up gourmet mac and cheese. And of course, most dads don't have the chance (or would even want the chance) to cheat on their gorgeous model wife with strippers and escorts from nightclubs across the country. But hey, at least your feet are getting a little closer to planet earth.

And the man is even trying Twitter … again (he had a brief experience tweeting over a year ago before quickly giving up.)

"What's up everyone," Woods tweeted. "Finally decided to try out twitter!...Yep, it's me. I think I like this twitter thing. You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the love."

God, Tiger must really be lonely. We would feel bad for him, but the dude really messed up, and as hard as he tries to receover his reputation, it's hard to think of him as anything other than a lying, cheating scumbag. No matter what he says or how sincere his remorse may be, his actions were just so blatantly out of control that it's hard to look past it.

Sure, we appreciate his epiphany, but we have to say that those are all things a person should learn before they start families—or at least once their babies are born. And while we understand that power and fame can easily go to a man's head and maybe a great fall like this is what it takes to see the light, there are plenty of pro athletes who don't cheat on their wives—incessantly. Then again, there are plenty who do. (Ahem, Tony Parker.)

But if Tiger really wants to revamp his image, we say just get out of the public view for awhile. Focus on your game and your kids (and maybe throw some therapy sessions in there for good measure.) Let's be serious, the public will probably have a much easier time forgiving you if you start winning some tournaments again. 

Photo Credit: INF