The Myth of the Secret Code

The Myth of the Secret Code
Buzz, Self


OK, so the title of this blog is misleading.  There is no secret code to unlocking a woman’s libido.  I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it’s the truth.  The one constant about women is that what turns us on is never the same.  Never might be stretching the truth a wee bit, but rarely will the same thing turn us on every time.  It’s one of the things that is probably the most maddening about us as a species.

Take oral sex, for
example.  I’ve seen instructions that men should treat a
woman’s clitoris like an ice cream cone, giving it long slow
licks.   Sometimes that’s nice, and it’s certainly a
good tool in the foreplay arsenal, but it’s never going to bring
most women (including me) to orgasm.

Kissing is the same way. 
Sometimes a long, slow kiss is super sexy, but other times, little
nibbles are better.  She might love your tongue down her throat
tonight and try to suck it out of your mouth, but tomorrow it could
make her gag.  I’m sorry, I wish this wasn’t the truth.

Breast play, same story. 
Maybe last week you could be rough and tweak her nipples until
another radio station comes in, but if you try it tonight, she’ll
clock you one.

Intercourse?  Yes,
same story.  Don’t expect that the position that had her
begging for mercy on Sunday will do it for her on Wednesday. 
They say variety is the spice of life, and when it comes to sex it
definitely is. 

There is one constant. 
I can hear the sighs of relief from here!  The one constant is
this:  if you pay attention and ask for feedback, you’re
likely to get her going.  Don’t be afraid to ask her if she
likes a particular something.  If she’s older than twenty-six,
she won’t mind telling you.  If you don’t want to ask then
pay attention to her body language.  There are some things that
happen automatically when a woman is aroused.  Her pupils
dilate; yours do too.  Her nipples get hard when she’s
aroused, so if you’re not playing with them and they’re erect,
you’re doing a great job.  And, her vagina will begin to
lubricate in preparation for intercourse (it has no idea whether or
not it will happen, it just wants to be prepared in case). 
Also, most women when aroused will smile, lick their lips, and writhe
their bodies.  These things are under their control, so if she
wants to fake it she can.  The first three are automatic, which
means she can’t control them.  So, pay attention and respond