Dating profiles that “prefer not to say”.


The first time I truly grasped the meaning of, “life’s not fair” was when I was 12 years old. That was the day I was told I probably wouldn’t grow any taller, and that my chest would not probably not get any bigger than that of my Aunt – the one known for her personality.

Since then I’ve come up against much injustice.


Carrying one teeny item over to the presumably “fast” self-serve area of a grocery store only to find yourself behind the one person in the world who doesn’t know how to slide an item over a scanner – is not fair.


William Shatner getting an endless supply of work – even as an All-Bran spokesperson, which is about as ludicrous as hiring Keith Richards to rep athletic gear – is not fair.

That Sarah Palin had the nickname, “Caribou Barbie”, long before I knew about it, thus denying me months of belly laughs – is not fair.


But what really chaps my backside is the fact that online dating sites let men and women choose the option, “prefer not say”, when it comes to answering deal-breaking, life-changing questions such as, “Do you want kids, “Do you have kids”.  However, they don’t provide that option when it comes to revealing your age.  Personally, I would prefer not to say.


In fairness, I think that if you have to come clean about something as irrelevant as age (if you’re too young or too old, it’ll show in your photos or as soon as you meet), then you should have to come clean about something as crucial as “I don’t just want you in my life,  I want our offspring too”. “Prefer not to say” is like an ad being allowed to delete the fine print. It’s not fair.


Besides being unsportsmanlike, “prefer not to say” is also bad marketing. It casts too wide a net by trying to attract anyone, whether or not they want children, or whether or not they care if you have children. If you were paying for ads, you’d be losing money because you’d be attracting too many of the wrong customers. What you need to do instead is weed out potential love interests who don’t match this deal-breaking criterion. If you want kids and/or are a single parent, make it clear so that you attract like-minded people. If you don’t want a family, make it clear so that you attract other singles with similar wishes. By targeting your dating profile to the right kind of matches, you’re making better use of your online dating time.


This is yet another good reason to hire a professional ad writer (me) to write your online dating profile. Instead of attracting just anyone, I can help you attract the one.

Still not sure? Then feel free to get tips on how to write a great online dating profile, by checking out the online dating samples at Or, go straight to “Get Started” for the fun free personality quiz,   It’ll help you uncover some of your unique traits.