If You Wait To Marry, Will The Good Ones Be Taken?

child wedding

A 3- and 5-year-old get engaged, plus a wedding for one in Taiwan.

If you have an intrusive mother, a mother too interested in grandchildren, or a mother who has more than a few romantic regrets, you've probably heard the phrase, "you gotta act fast or all the good ones will be taken." The nation of Syria, home to Damascus—the world's oldest, constantly-occupied city—seems like the kind of place where you heed parental advice, no matter how goofy it is, or whether or not it contradicts other advice. And Gawker (the website that most exemplifies the need for a sarcasm font, a tongue-in-cheek icon and a hyperlink to the definition of irony) reports that two forward-thinking Syrian families are very concerned about locking something up lest the good ones be taken.

The parents of a 3-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy don't want their children to be stuck with whatever's left standing in the tempest that is Syrian courtship one to two decades from now. Because the toddlers got on so well upon meeting, love at first sight was alleged, and they decided that the two would marry in 2020… perfectly visionary.

Adding to the weirdness is a woman from Taiwan, who's wishing her parents had this kind of foresight. Per Reuters, a woman named Chen Wei-yih is sick and tired of the dating scene in Taipei and, as 30-year-old woman, has decided to take matters into her own hands. To be more specific, she's taken matrimony into her own hands and decided to marry herself. Meanwhile, the birthrate in Taiwan continues to take a firm nosedive. Maybe it's because everyone just sucks at dating in those parts (frankly, I think there is an inverse proportion between the availability of the Sony PS3 and any culture's birthrate). She is taking her none-e-moon in sunny Australia. Ideally, she'll meet a nice man on her walkabout. Taiwan Is Paying People To Have Babies

Are 3 and 5 too young to be engaged, even as a goof? Do you think that Chen Wei-yih should have given dating another chance? Also, is there anything cuter than little kids dressed in fine clothing? Think of those Hickey Freeman ads.