A Frank Discussion About "The Friend Zone"


Why does it happen? Who's a target? And what you can do about it.

If there is one throughline to all the emails I get from readers, it's the "Friend Zone." People wondering if they're in the Friend Zone, if there's a way for them to get out of the Friend Zone, or how the hell did they ended up in the stupid Friend Zone to begin with. So today, we're writing about it. 

The Friend Zone. 

I know it well. 

When I find myself in the Friend Zone, I feel the same way a sleep-eater must after he realizes he unconsciously mauled a box of Wheat Thins, two unpeeled bananas, and an ashtray full of cigarette butts. I can't believe I spent the last six weeks trying to hook up with a girl and ended up in her book club. lemondrop: Can We Hook Up Without Getting Feelings Involved?

So, let's break it all down, from how you end up there, how you can tell if there's a way out, and what to do in the future to avoid going back.

First Things First: Who Is This Person Who Has You Friend Zone-d?
The Never-Was Friend: Sometimes, I'll start talking to a girl because I just want to "get sexy" with her, then somehow we end up becoming pals who get no sexier than Chipotle lunches and the occasional three-beer bar hang. You know these Zoned Friends—the people you had the tingles for but somehow, mysteriously, became actual friends with ... despite still maybe harboring the yen to be on them. lemondrop: Women Flirt Even When They're Not Interested

The Always-Was Friend: You've seen this person through the stomach flu, moves, cold sores, breakups, acne, cycles of melancholy and bad choices in pants. You know each other's parents. For months/years you felt not a single spark, and then, all of a sudden, one day, you wonder what he looks like without a shirt on. lemondrop: How Long Does Love Last?

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Written by [Redacted] Guy for lemondrop