When Love Means Having To Say You're Sorry

woman hugs man from behind

Seven steps that make taking the high road easy.

It's Kiss & Make Up Day, and nothing kicks that party off like a good old-fashioned apology. The Frisky: Totally Mean Things Women Do to Men

It's the crucial get-down of patching things up. It's the spackle to your relationship wall. Whether you've wronged your man, your BFF, your mama or even your grand-mama, here's how you show them you're sorry, as painlessly and effectively as possible. The Frisky: Girl Talk: There Is A Statute Of Limitations On An Apology

1. Take The Initiative: Don't wait for things to get so ugly the person you wronged is forced to confront you. If you make the first move, it'll show humility and earn respect. Everyone has had to apologize for one thing or another, so everyone knows how hard it is.

2. Make Contact: The eyes are the windows to the soul. Vom, but true. If you can't look at the person you're apologizing to, they can't see your sincerity. Ensure they're picking up what you're putting down by keeping your body language open. If you're not apologizing in person, at least make a phone call or put it in an email. A curt text is just not gonna cut it.

3. Denial Isn't Just A River: This is your one chance to own up. Accept your share of the blame and don't try to drag others down with you. Also, keep in mind that you only get to apologize once. So, don't leave out any crucial information that could bite you in the ass later. Otherwise, you'll seem extra shady and even more of a jerk for thinking you could get away with it. No credibility for you! And like a social disease, this kind of information drama will spread and destroy your reputation with others. Then you'll be lonely ... so, so lonely.

4. Listen Up: Hear them out. Listen to how they feel and what they have to say about the whole situation. Be sympathetic.

5. Don't Expect Insta-Forgiveness: Let the person know you understand there is a price to pay for what you did. You regret your actions, but you can't take them back. Hopefully, over time, you can earn their trust again.

6. The Good Old Times: Remind the person that you never meant to do anything to jeopardize your relationship, but life is confusing sometimes and you hope this bad decision won't turn everything good you've shared into rot. Contain the problem by expressing that you appreciate them and give them some perspective by recounting that there is more to what you have together than this one incident. Remember all those fun times we've shared, pal o' mine? Now, it's time to hug it out.

7. Stay Out Of Trouble: When your sincere apology is accepted, you are still on probation. Obviously, you'll be walking on egg shells with the person you wronged, but stay out of drama with others. You can make a full recovery from the situation by carrying yourself with the dignity befitting a lady or gentleman. No smack talk, sucka.

A Few Pitfalls To Avoid: The Frisky: Things to Do That Will Get An Ex To Take You Back

  • Don't apologize to the person you feel wronged by in the hopes they'll say they're sorry for what they did. No ulterior motives!
  • Don't throw money at the problem with presents or fancy crap. You can't buy the way someone feels about you or their real forgiveness. That being said, flowers never hurt!
  • Be careful not to bad-mouth someone until you know for sure they wronged you and have no intention of patching things up. You could wind up in a awkward situation where they apologize and you look like a two-faced jerk.

Written by Simcha Whitehill for The Frisky.

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