Venezuelan Politician Raffles Off Breast Implants

breast implants
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"Safety, liberty and a C-Cup in every bra" is a heck of a platform.

I know that this is slightly outside the realm of our typical love and relationships content. You'll have to excuse me, but this is just something I felt you had to know. According to Reuters, a politician in Venezuela had a brilliant plan to bring in votes: breasts. Yup. Venezuelan politician Gustavo Rojas—in the running for a spot in Venezuela's National Assembly—is raffling off a new "front porch" to raise funds for his campaign. 

Just in case anyone was alarmed by this, Rojas also released this bit of verbal fine print: "The raffle is a financing mechanism, nothing else. It's the doctor who will do the operation, not me." Obviously, this guy understands his constituency, and can fight the ruling party's populist fire with populist fire… in this case, the twins. Are Breasts The Source Of Self-Confidence?

"But what about the kids?" you ask. Well, like any populist movement, the present is the only thing that's taken into account. So if the kids' teeth rot out after you "let them eat cake," or if the kids can't get proper nutrients and bonding time with their mothers because delightful, round breasts are in the way, that's for another generation to worry about.

If most of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's writing about Simon Bolivar is representative of the actual dude, this is most likely what he envisioned for a liberated South America: each man a master in his own house, and a top-shelf set of headlights in every blouse. If being exhumed so that Hugo Chavez could further worship him doesn't have La Libertador rolling over in his grave, maybe this will. Breast Implants Are Not Sexy!

Would you take a perky pair of breast implants for your vote?