Spare me online dating profiles that preach.



I browse online dating sites on a daily basis. I scan larger ones like Match and Perfect Match. I also scan the smaller niche sites like Brainiac and Jdate. I’m an equal opportunity scanner. Yet, no matter how many different types of singles each site might attract, and no matter where I look, I always find the preachers. Read online dating profiles and I’m sure you’ve seen them too. 


Here are some of their headlines: Live, love and learn. It’s your journey to enjoy. Think love, attract love. Think it, feel it, be it. 


When did trite, incomplete sentences become a portal for sweet-talking your way into someone’s heart? No matter how much recognition The Secret garners, I guarantee that insufferably nagging and preaching will never make you one of the popular kids. You may as well just crank up Janice Ian’s “At Seventeen” and “manifest” some friends.


This is not how to write an online dating profile.


There’s nothing wrong with being passionate and positive, and wanting to attract people who are like-minded. It’s not at all problematic to share your way of thinking, and discuss or engage in conversations, even debates, about the philosophy that you live by. The key words here are “share” and “engage”. Rather than talk at someone by posting mundane gibberish, remember that the goal of online dating and your dating profile is to bridge gaps and form togetherness. Dating sites are communities for people who want to connect. If you’re on a soapbox then you’re not part of the dating community, you’re apart. 


When you’re online dating, always follow the basics of marketing in terms of what works and what doesn’t. The worst, most unpopular ads are the ones that talk at you and give readers directives; “buy now” comes to mind. The best ads are the ones that engage and captivate. These tend to “soft sell” versus hard sell. Live, love, learn and telling people how to live their lives is not soft sell. It’s annoying. 


How to write a great online dating profile? Personally, I think you should hire a professional online dating profile writer (me) sot that you can maximize your chances of success. 


For help getting started check out the samples at or go straight to the fun, free personality quiz. It’ll help you uncover your unique traits.