Kama Sutra Is FINALLY An Audio Book

happy woman lying in grass listening to headphones

Get all the sex positions you need, right in your ear holes.

If you live in most places, reading on your commute is a major pain. Either someone jostles you on the train, keeps breathing in your ear while reading over your shoulder on the subway or your kid in his car seat is just too slow turning the pages as you cruise the interstate.

Well, friend, you are in luck. Per Reuters, the Kama Sutra has finally been converted into an audio book. The British publisher, Beautiful Books, hired a smooth-voiced English actress to read the tome. And apparently, the old Indian book is not just a guide on sex positions, but also has some nice tidbits in there about making a relationship real nice, too. 

My hesitation to purchase a Kama Sutra audio book (not to mention some sort of bodice-ripper or Philip Roth novel) stems from a fear of getting a little too excited while reading. Even the most textbook and clinical of sex terms read with a sultry Victorian accent (or even better a Dickensian Cockney intonation) can lead to tumescence or lady moistening. Not a problem if you're in private and/or have a book on your lap, but such a situation could open you to ridicule and accusations of perversion while on a train full of good, decent people (chikan!).

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Anyway, part of the glory of the Kama Sutra are the sweet, sweet illustrations (in some editions, some sex position photographs are done with real couples, but these are invariably a little too nice and neat-looking). Most human beings are visual learners. In fact, most of us like being shown (rather than told) how to do something before we proceed to doing it. Though it could be nice to have the Kama Sutra in your ear, acting as a guide.