The Secret Life of Men Online

The Secret Life of Men Online

I'm an internet addict. I run 3 blogs. I'm a member of any number of forums and chat rooms and, inevitably, Twitter, Facebook and the rest. MSN is always blinking in the corner, and I guess you'd probably have to throw YourTango into the mix too.

That's not so very unusual these days. Even my dad - who had a 4 channel TV until under a year ago - is on Facebook and MSN.

And naturally, I've got a load of friends online. People I met who I share interests with and think it would be cool to talk to a bit more. And most of them are women. I know a few men, sure, but when I chat, I chat to women. They're funny and understanding and easy to talk to.

And at some point, on some level, there's something not-all-that-hidden about what's happening within that pattern. I'm inviting women to share their secrets with me because it's sexier than talking to men in a poker chat room (another of my vices). I like to dig around under a woman's skin. And they seem to respond!

We talk about our spouses and friends, our working days and what we're each having for dinner. It's giggly in a way you'd remember from your days back at school, sitting in class being mischievous with a person you really liked. We're "Just Friends".

But then again, we hide each other's existence from other eyes. My wife knows about perhaps 3 or the dozens of women that I know online. Why? What am I hiding?

When I talk to other men, it soon becomes clear. We have all those ulteriour motives you fear we have. We'd like to do more than just talk, however much things start in plain vanilla friendship. We want to get that woman alone someplace and get under her clothes - not just her skin.

And in case you think that's all one way, let me disabuse you of that notion. I've answered more questions about my underwear and sex life to know that many of these women are motivated by the same sexual curiousity that drives me.

Nothing's happened to me yet, but if your partner is building up a surreptitious army of 'friends' online... I'd watch out.