Dear Dr. Romance:
How realistic is it for a woman over 40 to expect a personal ad date to lead to marriage? --
It's not realistic for anyone to expect one personal ad date to lead
to marriage, but if you know what you're doing, it is possible to find
a spouse via dating someone you met online. Just keep in mind that it's
a big, anonymous world, and get to know your potential date
face-to-face as soon as possible. Understand that it will take a few
months just to find out if the person you're dating has real potential.
Go slowly -- it takes time to develop a healthy relationship. While
you're figuring that out, try not to get caught up in the excitement of
it all, and keep your wits about you. Pay attention to what your new
friend is saying about himself, how well he hears what you are saying,
and look for clues to character. Your job in the dating game is to
figure out if the other person is the right kind of person for you.
Watch for clues about how he handles money, whether the two of you can
disagree and work it out, and, if he has to be right about everything
For more helpful ideas for dating and building a relationship, please read "Aspects of Love" and "The Fine Art of Squirrel Hunting" You'll also find help and information in The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again.