Is your dating profile like an instruction manual?

Buzz, Love

Spare me the online dating profiles that have a list of “musts”. I’m sure you’ve seen them, they’re on every single dating site from PerfectMatch to 


They go like this:



Must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation.

Must be as comfortable dressed up as you are dressed down.

Must have a career but not be married to it.

Must be financially secure and independent.


Funny how none of these profiles have “You must tolerate my controlling, obnoxious and clearly overbearing personality.” on their lists.


Amongst one woman’s absurdly long list, was: “you must not leave the table to go snort cocaine.” What does that even mean? Is she saying it’s okay to snort coke as long it doesn’t interfere with her entrée?


This approach is as demanding and impersonal as the “qualifications” section on job applications. You probably couldn’t pay someone enough to put up with that on a daily basis. 


Believe it or not, mistakes like these are very common on online dating profiles because most people have a difficult time writing objectively.


So, here’s a profile tip: instead of a list, make your point in a positive way. If you say you enjoy intelligent conversation, it’s clear that you’re looking for someone who can carry one on. If you say you like to dress up as much as you like to dress down, it’s clear you’re looking for someone who’s as comfortable with both as you are In other words, list your interests rather than your demands. Better still, hire me to do your online dating profile!